Hold My Heart // Byler

023

Mike wakes up this morning earlier than usual, but it's mainly because he never fully fell asleep.

He looks over to his clock.

6:38 a.m.

He groans into his pillow, and then silence. His mind immediately shifts to Will.

To be more specific, last night's phone call with Will.

He remembers that the only thing he wanted to do before sleeping was talk to Will. It seemed as though Will's voice made his exhaustion deepen.

And now, all he wants is Will to lay by his side, to comfort him.

How could the thing I'm upset about comfort me?

But's he's not exactly upset at Will. He's upset at his feelings for Will.

No. He can't allow himself to ever feel that amount of humiliation again.

He's upset that he has to hide his feelings towards Will. All he wants is to openly show Will his devotion.

He slowly gets out of his bed and walks to his dresser. He sits down and takes out a piece of paper.

He starts his letter with " Dear Will,"

But he can't think of anything to say. He's shocked because the only thing he ever thinks about is Will.

Maybe this is when he realizes that he can't say everything to Will that he thinks. He can't write it.

Because to him, it's equivalent to walking up to Will and pouring his heart out to him. If he writes his feelings towards Will down, he'll feel implied to give it to Will.

The letters.

Mike feels a wave of fear wash over him. Will probably read them.

Mike shakes his head and tries to let himself think of anything other than Will, and this looming truth, swarming over him.

Why does he still feel this way?

After everything, Mike assumes that by now, there would be nothing stopping him from confronting Will.

But even now, that voice is the back of his head telling him hurtful things, is still present.

Mike has been trying to avoid it, but when it's screaming at him, all-present, and never-ending, he can't seem to get it out.

And for a moment, he thinks that maybe he is wrong.

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Will is staring at the letters Mike gave to him, and wondering why he can't find it in himself to open them.

He hasn't even looked at them until now, and truthfully, he's been avoiding them.

Maybe it's because he's absolutely certain of the contents of the letters, or maybe it's because these letters could open up a door that Will never knew existed.

Either way, he can't find the courage to just open it.

The letters are numbered, and they all have Will's name written in cursive on the envelopes.

Will rolls over in his bed and slams his face into his pillow.

He feels his mind drift off in thought.

What's Mike doing?

He knows he'll see him later, but he can't help but think that maybe something will go terribly wrong.

Or, in his case this would be even worse, it would just be totally different between him and Mike.

What if it was all a fairytale to Will? What if he imagined everything that happened?

After a while of contemplating what's real, Will drifts off to sleep, the last thing on his mind being Mike.

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  As Mike is riding his bike to Will's house, the only thing he feels is curiosity.

  And nervousness.

  He's curious about many variants. Is Will okay? How does he like the new house?

  How close is he to me now?

  He's been given directions by his mother on how to get here, but the only indication that he's in the right spot is Mrs. Byers standing in the lawn, waving at Mike.

  Mike rides into the yard and gets off of his bike.

  " Hey, Mrs. Byers! You guys are closer than I thought."

   Joyce smiles and gives Mike a hug, to which he receives warmly.

  Mrs. Byers has always felt like more of a mom to him than his own.

  " Alright Mike, we're not fully unpacked so be careful. I'm gonna call your mom, and Will's waiting on you. Let's go."

  When they make it inside, Joyce walks to the phone and dials Karen's number.

  Joyce says, " Hey, Mike, Will is in his room. Upstairs, first door on the left."

  Mike nods, and stands up. He waves goodbye to Joyce and begins ascending up the stairs.

  When he is outside of Will's room, he hears the quiet chatter of a radio, and he soon realizes that the music is the mixtape he made for Will.

  His heart beat speeds up multiple paces, and he knocks on the door quickly before he no longer has the courage to do so.

  Will says " Come in!", from the other side of the room.

  Mike opens the door and walks in. He shuts it. He scans his surroundings for a moment, until his eyes meet Will.

  But Will is turned away from Mike, at his desk.

  " Mom, is dad gonna be here soon, because I seriously can-". Will turns around and meets Mike's eyes.

   "Oh, I'm sorry.. hi." Will breathes out and he looks stressed.

   " Hi." Mike begins to feel the nervousness wash over him, like a tidal wave, bound to come crashing down.

    Mike walks towards Will and grabs another chair, placing it in front of Will. He sits down, his stare unwavering from Mike.

  " Will.. uh- are you okay?"

  Will can't determine what exactly catches him off-guard, maybe it's Mike's tone or the fact that the question was completely random.

Still, he feels obligated to tell Mike the truth.

So he stands up, shuts his door, and prepares to tell Mike everything he wants to know.

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A/N: The beginning of the chapter lasted longer than I expected, and I didn't want to make a SUPERR long chapter sooo here this is!! anyways, ill update soon. i love you guys<3