Hold My Heart // Byler

003

I wake up early in the morning and see Will still sleeping. He looks... so... pretty like that. I get dressed and walk to the basement, where El's sleeping, and knock on the door. I need to talk to her. She deserves the truth. Thats the least I can do for her.

  She slowly sits up and yawns when she hears the door open. I want to tell her everything, how I feel towards Will, and how I feel bad. She'll understand.

She says " Hi, Mike". I reply with a little wave. I sit on the couch beside her. I try to say something, anything, but the words don't come out. Its like I cant say anything about how I feel. I cant.

She looks at me in confusion after a minute and says " Mike?" I snap out of it. I cant do it anymore. I say " I just wanted to tell you good morning actually." She smiles at me and kisses me. I hate kissing her. Not because shes a bad kisser, because shes not Will.

I go back upstairs to the kitchen and Will is already at the table. Me and El sit beside each other and Will sits across from me. I can tell he's acting weird. Maybe he wants to keep his distance?

We're eating quietly and then Will looks up at me, and catches me staring at him. He gives me a look that says " Are you okay?" I sigh in reply. He then gives me a look that says " Im here." I smile at him, with probably the most genuine smile I've done in a while. Will always makes me smile. He makes me happy.

After breakfast, Eleven wants Max to come over, seeing as they havent been together in a year. Max and El go into the basement and begin catching up. I decide to ask Will, " Wanna go hang in my room?" Will nods slowly. We walk up there.

We both sit on the edge of my bed together, knowing we need to talk. Will says " Mike, I'm sorry-" I cut him off with " For what?" " For being a bit off, its just that- i thought you only cared about El. And then when you told me that you missed me, I felt happy, but I didnt wanna steal you from El.", Will replies. I want to tell him how I feel, or at least tell him about me and El.

I face him and say " Will, me and El aren't as strong as you think we are. Honestly, I don't love her, in that way. Of course I love her, she saved your life. But I just felt like I owe it to her since she saved my best-friend. I cant force myself to feel something stronger than I do for her. And, I want to tell her. Anyways, I guess I was just pushing you away to get closer with El, to force myself to feel that way about her. I failed, just so you know. I just missed you. So much."

Will has tears in his eyes and says " Mike. Ive had no idea. You've had to go through all of this alone. I'm sorry. And I missed you too Mike." I say " Good, because I really need to get through this." Will smiles and says " Hey, you've got me. Im always here for you."

And I believe him. But im scared. I dont know whats going to happen.