Hold My Heart // Byler

008

⚠️TW⚠️
A/N: So this chapter has very minimal use of slurs so i figured id go ahead and put a trigger warning. If you don't want to read these, then skip around 3 lines down.

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For his entire life, Will never had a safe place. And then he started being bullied.

It sounds absurd, but bullying is what drove him to his passion.

Relentlessly, everyday of his elementary years, kids bullied him. They called him " fag" and " fairy".

They said things that.. a kid that young shouldn't have had to know what it meant.

They told him that he was useless just like his father. That might've hurt the most.

The person he spent so much time running away from became the only person people saw within him. And it hurt. It hurt too much to bear.

So Will began drawing. He always loved art, watching others staring at the portraits and paintings searching so hard to find meaning, when he could find the message just within the surface.

So, he asked his mom to get him crayons, and that soon became his most prized possession. He started using art as an escape.

And he loved it.

He was his happiest when hunching over a sketchbook, drawing for hours. He was also his safest. When he was creating art, nothing could touch him.

The screaming echoes of his parents was always forced away from Will's ears when he was creating.

He felt as though, for once in his life, he had a purpose. A purpose to create, to bring what was hidden deep inside him to life.

As he got older, he began to improve his creations. He began painting.

He never told anyone about it, though. He figured they wouldn't care. They'd shrug and maybe let out a " Cool."

But not Mike.

That's one of the things Will couldn't get over. As he laid in bed that night, he couldn't stop thinking.

Thinking of the grin that spread across Mike's face, that was his genuine reaction. No disgust or hatred on his face.

Sometimes Will felt like Mike only looked at him that way. Not El, not anyone. And that made him feel special.

Mike was the only other thing besides art that made him feel special, wanted.

And in Will's mind, Mike was art. Mike was the human form of art. His features were so prominent and well-created that it looked as though he was sculpted by a God.

Mike honestly was a God. He looked that way, at least. That's probably why Will painted him.

He'd always wanted to encapsulate the beauty of Mike in a painting. He thought he'd achieved it well. He must have, by the grin on Mike's face.

He would spend his entire life on a mission just to have the privilege to see that smile once again.

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Mike was never one to blurt out his feelings or even want to. He liked to keep his emotions inside of him.

That way they couldn't hurt anyone. Or him. If he tried long enough, he could completely force away every feeling.

He did it often, it was a routine. He never felt the need to say his feelings. One of the reasons being he couldn't even put it into words. He also didn't want to be a burden to others with their own personal problems.

But the main reason, is because he was absolutely positive that his feelings were wrong.

Specifically the way he felt when he looked at his best friend. The way his eyes fell to Will's own soft pair.

The way it always felt so right. The way he was happy. That was the only time he ever felt completely happy.

But it was still wrong. That's what he'd been told his entire life, by everyone.

But laying in his bed now, he couldn't stop thinking about how correct it felt. It felt like fate.

But every once in a while Mike couldn't block out the thoughts, the emotions. And so on rare occasions, he'd write.

He did it as a way of at least saying his emotions, even if no one was listening. That way, he could at least get them out of him, he could stop the constant wall even within himself.

But it was rare. Because he felt wrong for it. Men aren't supposed to cry, his dad used to say to him. And he tried so hard to be a man. To keep it inside.

But sometimes he couldn't anymore. He always felt bad after though. That was the thing about him, he felt bad about existing all the time.

No one should have to feel guilty for portraying natural human emotion, but he'd been molded to feel that way.

So it was rooted in him, the part of him that couldn't simply tell. Tell anything to anyone.

Except Will.

For some reason Mike couldn't except, but knew somewhere deep, Will seemed to knock every wall he put up in mere seconds.

And he hated it. He hated the way Will affected him. Only he could do it, too. His best friend. And it never seemed natural to him. But being around Will made him feel careless.

El never made him feel that way. He wanted her to. Because then it would be easier to peel his eyes away from his best friend, a boy.

But he couldn't. But he could at least try. So that's what he did. And it's what he will continue to do until he can muster up the courage to finally peel his eyes away.

Peel his eyes away from something, someone, that he knew in the back of his mind he couldn't.

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A/N: AHHH! alrighty so this chapter is one of my favs bc for this one i just really wanted to create a sort of background for them. and i love just going in depth with characters like that. and ik you guys probably prefer dialogue so there WILL be plenty of dialogue next chapter for you. please feel free to message me with any questions, ideas, etc. about this fic. thank you sm for reading!! BYEEEE!