Hold My Heart // Byler

027

The one thing Will still seems to not have learned is being able to verbalize his feelings.

Usually, in any other scenario where it would work, Will would smile and suppress his emotions, even to himself.

But this isn't any normal scenario. It won't work this time.

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Will wakes up to the sound of light stirring somewhere in his room. He opens his eyes, slowly.

Mike is revealed in the corner of the room, putting his shoes on, and grabbing his backpack.

" Hey." Will says, sitting up.

" Oh, hey. Didn't mean to wake you. I was just-"

" Are you okay? You don't have to go.." Will is concerned and confused. Mike usually never acts standoff-ish towards him.

" Yeah, Will, I'm fine.. I just.." Mike sighs quietly.

After Will fell asleep, Mike was forced to be alone with his thoughts, and being around Will made them more prominent.

Mike started thinking about how Will never is willing to just speak. He won't speak about their relationship, his feelings..nothing.

Mike knows that Will has always been this way, it's a part of who he is, but Mike also realized that he's been basically drug around by Will, yet he continues to wait for him.

He waits for him because he genuinely would wait for centuries to have some sort of possession over Will, in the sense that they'd possess each other, they'd be together.

But Mike still can't help but feel like Will's feelings aren't as strong as his, considering the way Will can avoid his.

He knows that it's probably something that Will's dealing with internally, but he also knows that it's detrimental to his mental health if he continues to not do anything about it.

He's not sure what exactly he can do about it, probably nothing, but he'll do whatever he has to so that he and Will can work out their relationship, however the outcome looks.

There are many factors that remain unsure to him, but the one and only thing he knows for certain is that he has to speak if Will won't.

He has to build the courage to tell Will how he feels about the situation. He knows that he can't keep rubbing it off.

   " Actually, I.. I'm okay but, I-"

   " Yeah? What is it, Mike?"

     " I want to.. know how you feel."

    Will sits up straighter, scared to be somewhat called out, in the spotlight.

   " How I feel about.. what?"

    " Anything, really. Us, this, even ya know..me, or whatever."

   Will's face turns red and suddenly he feels frozen.

   Mike seems agitated, and Will doesn't blame him, but he also has no idea what to say to him.

  He isn't able to just speak his feelings.

   So he just stares at Mike, frightened, nervous.

    " Uh, so- Okay, looks like I got my answer." Mike looks genuinely upset.

   Mike looks down and then back up at Will, vulnerably, as if giving Will one last chance to say something, anything.

   Then, as Mike realizes that Will is, in fact, not going to tell him anything, he grabs his backpack and begins walking out of the door.

   " Mike, wait!" Will follows Mike down the stairs, through the door, and outside.

   " Mike!" Will grabs Mike's arm in an attempt to make him stay.

    Mike turns around, irritated.

   " What, Will!?" Mike looks into Will's eyes, angry, upsetting, but also as if he's searching for something.

   " I.. uh- I-"

   " Yeah, okay, Will. See, this is your problem. You can't even speak a single fucking sentence to me if it has any kind of meaning to it!"

    " God, Will, why... are you so scared of your emotions?" Mike steps closer to Will as he says this.

   " I just don't know- why are you even randomly asking me this anyway?!" Will is annoyed, and he's directing it at Mike, when he's really upset with himself.

   Will knows that Mike is right, he isn't able to not run away from his problems.

   Mike lets out a light, sarcastically laugh.

    " Don't turn this around on me! And it's not random, and you know that it's not."

    Mike looks at Will now, his eyes filled with tears. He gives Will a look of curiousness, as if he's searching for something.

    Will is crying now. He looks at Mike and shrugs, and widens his eyes.

    " I don't kn- I can't." Will looks at Mike, hoping he'll say anything other than what Will knows that he's going to say.

   Mike sarcastically laughs again and shrugs. Tears are falling down his cheeks now.

   " Okay... I- can't do this- bye." Mike's voice breaks at the end of his sentence, and he begins to sob.

   He turns away and begins walking away from Will. And Will lets him, because its the only thing he knows.

   It's the only thing he's ever done.

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Will knew that at some point in time, his habits would come around to hurt him.

And now he's almost certain of one thing, that there is absolutely no turning this situation around.

And though Will isn't a naturally positive person, he also has a belief that he can't deserve anything more than being alone.

He also knows that he is the one who messed up, and he's the reason he can never have anything to keep.

His whole life has been a game of self sabotage, a game that he could never run away from.

And he can't run away from himself, so what can he do? He figures the only options he has are to either let it eat his mind away or speak.

Because not being able to speak is not the same as not having anything to say.

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A/N: this chapterrrrrr. i cannot!!!i really resonated with it tbh. anyways, no more to say other than we're pretty much at the end. enjoy, babes<333