LONG - SHORT STORIES

HE WAS MY FIRST BUT HE IS NOT DESTINED TO BE MY LAST

(PLAY ASTRONOMY BY CONAN GRAY WHILE READING THIS STORY)

Is it possible to find true love? If it exists, why do we experience the need to be hurt to the point of paranoia? Repairing the shattered pieces of our hearts, only to be crushed again as time passes. Why should we suffer the pain of true love if it truly exists? I've never had the satisfaction of falling in love. For me, love is a maze game in which you constantly find the proper path but end up walking down the same path again despite taking different paths but returning to the same starting place.

I was named after the word love, yet I hated it. I'm Aiah Manami Venchillis, which means love and affection, and I'm completely in love with Drystan Ezekiel Wrevin, who is named after hate, agony, and sadness.

It began while we were in high school. He was the most attractive man I had ever seen at the moment. He was cool, but he had a sensitive spot in his heart that made him unique. He helps us when no one is looking, despite the fact that he ignores everyone, including me. He doesn't want any attention, but he is already well-known.

"All right, class, we'll choose our muse and consort of our classroom right now," our teacher explained.

As a result, Zeki became our consort because so many women admired him. And because the males were constantly yelling my name, I was elected as the muse of our class, and as a result, many people despised me because I was the chosen muse at the time.

"Keep your head up, after all, you're pretty. Don't listen to them," Zeki murmured quietly, as the majority of the women in our class condemned me and wished they were in my shoes. Zeki made me grin even though I didn't like him at the moment. What he said made my heart melt for some reason.

We went to our year's faculty after the officials were elected and saw different students as muse and consort.

"Out of the twelve of you, we just need to choose two candidates. One muse and one consort."

 I'm not sure why, but some teacher is staring at us, and it doesn't seem to bother us. Our department is divided into six sections. The professors tested us as we walked and answered a random question they presented. Unexpectedly, Zeki and I were chosen as candidates for our campus's twelve-year department.

"This September, Mr. and Ms. Intramurals of our university will be represented by Mr. Wrevin and Ms. Venchillis."

This will be very exhausting.

Let's just fast forward that scenario. And just like that we became the representative of our year. Daily practicing and preparing for that event.

Before our number called, he whispered, "Just look up and be yourself."

We didn't win the event, in fact, we placed in second spot, but we became friends as a result of it.

Because Zeki and I became friends, many other girls were envious of me. "Their opinion doesn't matter at all; they're just jealous of us," Zeki once stated to me.

He's the best man indeed.

But everything changes when summer comes.

He is in and out of the hospital due to a serious disease.

I was there before he developed that illness. We're riding our bikes together, eating ice cream, and heading to the destination of our choice.

I blamed myself at the time, but the truth is that he had it before I met him.

"Before I die, I want to share my first kiss with my first love," he continued, and I immediately find Michel, his so-called crush. I pleaded with her to kiss Zeki before he died, but she refused.

"Because of you I found a reason to live."

"Why do you say that?"

"I want to ride a bike with my first love, to eat ice cream together, to have a sleepover together, to gaze at the night sky together."

"And I realized, you're my first love, but I'm not sure whether you feel the same way." He grinned at me, and I embraced him warmly without hesitation.

"Do you still miss him?"

"Yeah."

"He's a precious friend of yours right?"

"He always has a space in my heart, love."

Zeki passed away from heart failure two decades ago. I had no idea he was my first love at the time. When his heart stopped beating, I noticed that I loved him.

I immediately felt a warm hug from my back. "It's okay, love, memories of a significant person may haunt you. However, there are instances when we need to set someone free, and by doing so, we are able to let them go. I realize it's difficult for you to hold him for two decades. I'm sure he wants you to set him free so that you can be happy. Don't blame yourself, sweetheart; it's not your fault."

The tears I've been holding back are beginning to flow freely.

"It's okay, cry all you want."

I know it's been two decades since he departed, but those beautiful memories of our time together are priceless to me. I don't want to let him go since our memories are all I have of him. However, I must let go of the past, may he rest in peace. I will not blame myself anymore, safe skies, Zeki.