WHEN Cassius was apparated back home by Dumbledore a few hours later, he immediately went to his room, shutting the door behind him. Harry, who was also apparated back by the man, rushed to his boyfriend's room.
Cassius didn't look up, seeming like he didn't even notice. He was hugging his knees to his chest by a wall, shaking and crying.
Harry sat down next to his boyfriend, wiping tears of his own before he wrapped an arm around him.
Cassius looked up, his eyes red. "He's everywhere," he whispered, his voice cracking. "I see him everywhere."
Harry looked extremely sympathetic, pulling him into his arms, letting out a breath when Cassius continued to cry in his arms. "I'm here, love. I'll help you through this and everything else. I promise."
"I wish it was me," whispered Cassius a few minutes later. "I wish it was me that died not him."
"Cassius, do not wish that." Harry whispered back, swallowing the lump in his throat. "What would I have done if I lost you?"
"What should I do now that I've lost him?!"
"I'm sorry," said Harry quickly, now realizing how insensitive he had sounded.
"Leave, Harry." Cassius pulled away, wiping his tears. "I need to be alone."
Harry nodded understandingly, looking at him in worry one last time before leaving the room and closing the door.
As soon as the door closed, Cassius let out a shaky breath. Tears filled his eyes again, but no sound came from Cassius this time as his tears fell.
No sounds of sobs. No sounds of pain.
Maybe he had reached his breaking point already.
Maybe what he thought was right. Maybe he wasn't worthy and deserving of a loving parent.
If he was, why did he have a mother that was abusive?
If he was, why did his father— the only parent that loved him— die?
"It should've been me," Cassius whispered to himself, staring into the distance. He stood up and walked to a mirror in his room, staring at his reflection.
Those grey eyes. The same eyes Regulus had.
That black curly hair. The same hair Regulus had.
Cassius punched the mirror, ignoring his now-throbbing hand and also ignoring the shattered glass that was now everywhere. He looked down, watching as blood dripped from his knuckles to the floor.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Just like his tears that were now joining the blood on the floor.
"It should've been me."
YOU ARE READING
the moon and the stars| a hp fanfic
Fanfic"and if he asked for the moon, i would also give him the stars." ↳ in which cassius regulus black doesn't know how to love, and harry james potter shows him all the ways.
