Parasocial // Yanderes x Reader

XX , Toxic

"... Joshua?" You asked breathlessly. "Joshua... Thomason?"

"Yes, that's his full name. Why? Do you know him?" Covestry asked simply in return. You hesitated.

"Don't fucking tell anybody you ever even knew me. We were nothing. You're nothing."

"Nah, just heard his name online and stuff. Probably for being a dipshit." You laughed, but the people in call with you could tell something was off.

"Okay then." Covestry hummed.

"Pixel messaged me. It's time for the tournament to start." Kuro piped up. You tried to relax, but it was hard. Anxiety like you'd never felt it before welled up in your chest.

But time kept moving forward, unrelenting. You tried focusing on the game, but every time you came across Joshua your heart stopped. It was hard to communicate with your team properly, to say his username.

There was a ringing in your ears that wouldn't cease, his voice in your head so clear. You couldn't get him out of your mind. Why couldn't you let go? For just a minute?

Worst of all, you knew how he'd be reacting. He didn't know it was you, you assumed... But he'd act the same way regardless. His acts the same as all the times you'd played games before. Joshua played dirty. He got off on having a power trip and being a troll.

Your team lost the round.

"I-I'm sorry." You breathed out. "I'm sorry." You repeated.

"Wifey it's not your fault!" Circute reassured you immediately.

"Yeah, those fuckfaces were playing dirty." Warni growled.

"No, no." You whispered. "I'm sorry. I can't do this."

"Wait, what-?"

Claristo's voice got cut off as you left the call and ended stream.

Once the pressure of being watched was off of you, you curled up. Tears beginning to pour down your face as uncontrollable sobs left you. Wails ringing through your ears as you trembled helplessly.

You couldn't even hear the insistent pinging from your friends. Not the way they called you. Nothing else was there but the voices in your head.

The voices that said,

"Nobody loves you."