Die In California

5

Rook's POV:

Linda came to sit with me a few times, deciding to use her time with Devyn as therapy sessions for myself. I honestly have no idea how it happened, but I ended up telling her everything that was on my mind, everything that happened with Devyn when we were younger, everything that was happening with the guys and drumming. She sat and patiently listened, then offered support when I needed it, or just reassurance that I was doing what I thought was best for me. She definitely helped me. Turns out I was worse than I'd ever admit. But I was getting better. I think. Or at least I hope.

"It's the show tonight, isn't it?" Linda asked as she sat with me again, but I knew she wasn't actually asking. She was stating it as a fact, trying to open up another conversation.
"Yeah." I sighed with a small nod. 
"And everyone's gone to it?" 
"Yeah."

"But you're still happy to stay here? You don't feel like you're missing out?" She prompted. 
"No." I quietly shook my head.
"Which question are we answering?" She lightly laughed, grabbing her notebook and beginning to make notes. Yeah, I really was going to therapy now. 
"The first one." I sighed.

No, I didn't exactly feel happy that I was staying. I hated that I was staying; I knew that drumming would take my mind off everything, would clear my head for a few hours, would make me feel normal for a while. But I just couldn't bring myself to leave Devyn. 

What if she woke up when I was gone, and tried again? What if she woke up, didn't know that I'd spent every day for the last 6 weeks with her, thought that I didn't care and left her to die, then tried again? What if she woke up and ran away, and I'd never see her again? I couldn't leave her with the possibility of waking up and trying again. I wasn't there to stop her last time, but I will be there to stop her if it ever happens again. 

"I need to be here for her if she wakes up, but I know that drumming would help me. I mean, I feel like I'm going crazy sitting here all day every day, but I don't know what else I can do." I sighed, running a hand over my face. 
"You feel helpless." Linda observed as I slowly nodded, bowing my head in defeat. 

"That's completely normal. You feel like you must help her, but the only person that can help her, is herself." She tried to comfort me, but honestly it didn't help; it wasn't exactly a solution. "As for drumming, I'm sure you'll be back to it before you know." She smiled, making me weakly smile at her attempts to cheer me up. Yeah, no, it wasn't working.

The next day, I was sitting in Devyn's hospital room as usual, just me. I hadn't heard how the show had gone last night, since I wouldn't check my phone, and as usual there was no change with Devyn. It broke my heart, seeing her like that and knowing that there was nothing I could do to help. Knowing that we all let it get this bad. Someone should've noticed the signs.
Yet no one did. How?

"Hey, Devy. It's me, JP, again. I still have no idea if you can hear me, but fuck it. Look, I really need you to wake up, okay? I know I keep asking you, every day, and it might be a lot for you. But when you wake up, you won't be alone anymore. I'll be here, I promise. I'm here to stay. You say the words, hell, you open your eyes, and I'll stay. I'll do anything for you, anything at all." I begged, tightly gripping her hand in mine as I gently traced the tattoos on the back of her hand with my thumb. "Uhm, I may have quit drumming. I don't know, but Ashleigh threatened me, making it sound like she'd fire me if I don't pull it together. I told her to fire me, and I'm yet to pull it together." I dryly laughed. 

"But, yeah. Things aren't the same without you. I mean, I've got insane back aches now, cramp, uhm, I- I don't even remember the last time I shaved. Well, it's not like I can grow much, but this is the longest it's ever been. Hey, I was thinkin', maybe when you wake up you could give me a few tattoos, y'know, since you're now an artist an' everything. You could do anything you like. I'm sure it'll be awesome. So, uhm, how's that sound? You gonna wake up for me?" I asked, gently rubbing my thumb across the back of her hand. 

Two more days passed and the boys were finally back from their show. It was awkward at first, them all holding a grudge against me for not going, but then seeing my state and taking pity on me. I hated it, but I couldn't start another fight with them; firstly, it would be a bitch move to play, and secondly I didn't have enough energy to even try. They all came into the hospital room and sat on the couch and armchair, looking over at Devyn and then me. It was fucking awkward.

"How's she doin'?" Slim asked after a few moments of silence, making me sigh as I looked over at him.
"No changes." I sighed. "I know they're running out of faith in her, I just- I don't want them to give up on her." I quietly admitted, my voice breaking. I couldn't cry, not in front of the guys. They'd tease me for days. 
"They won't. She's lasted this long, so I'm sure she can pull through." Dub tried to reassure me, but, as usual, it didn't work. 
"Yeah, she's lasted this long. She's lasted this long in a coma. What if she doesn't come out?" I whispered, bowing my head to hide the tears.

"It's gon' be alright, JP." Kells softly spoke as he sat on the arm of my chair, draping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his side. Well, that set the tears off. I tried to keep as quiet as possible, but the sniffles were inevitable, making Kells tighten his hold on me as I broke down further. Then, suddenly, multiple arms were wrapped around me as the others piled into the hug, squeezing me so tight. Sure, I couldn't breathe, but it was just what I needed. 

The boys let me cry like a baby, holding me in a death-grip group hug. They didn't speak a word, just let me get it all out, my cries and the beeping of the machines that I barely even noticed anymore sounding through the hospital room. They didn't judge, they didn't tease, make comments, anything, they just held me, and occasionally awkwardly rubbed my back as I sobbed into Kells' lap, soaking his jeans with salty tears.

I don't remember what happened after that, but I woke up to an ear-splitting alarm going off, somewhere in this hospital room. I scrunched my eyes in confusion as I glanced over to the hospital bed and then Kells. Wait. Something wasn't right. I did a double take, looking back at the hospital bed and then around the room.
The color drained from my face, my heart dropped from my chest, I forgot how to breathe.

Hazel finally met blue. 

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Author's Note:

Hiiii!
Sorry it's such a short chapter, but the next one will be usual length. 
I'm excited for the next chapter! But, hazel met blue... 
Hope you enjoy :))