Die In California

7

Devy's POV:

Well, I'd been awake for a grand total of 2 hours from my 7 week nap and JP was still trying to persuade me to move to Cleveland with him. It was driving me insane. All I wanted was to sleep - weird considering that was the only thing I did for the past 7 weeks but okay - and yet he was still babbling on about Cleveland, how great it is there. Yeah, shut up JP, respectfully.

"Okay, but you can work as a tattoo artist in Cleveland. Hell, you'll have loads to do for me and Kells. You can make new friends there too, not just the guys." JP argued, sitting back in the chair as he stared me down.
"No. I'm staying in Toledo. It's all I know, it's where I've grown up." I sighed with a shake of my head, closing my eyes in hopes that he'd get the message that I want the conversation to end.
"Devyn, you're not even considering it. Open your mind." He sighed exasperatedly, making me lift my head to stare at him incredulously. He seriously just told me to open my mind? Oh hell no.

"JP. You're not even listening to me. What don't you understand? No. N. O. No. No thank you." I frowned at him, sitting up straight, mirroring his movements.
"But think about it Devyn. Just consider it." He sternly spoke, his voice raising a little.
"No!" I screeched, shaking my head in disbelief that he was still trying.
"Why the fuck not, Devyn? Why the fuck won't you even think about moving to Cleveland with me?" He spat, scooting onto the edge of his seat.
"Because I'm fine where I am!" I shouted, the two of us getting more heated by the minute.

"Oh really?" He scoffed. "You're fine where you are, in a hospital after trying to fucking kill yourself?!" He all but screamed, making me roll my eyes and huff at him, turning my head away from him. "Look at me, Devyn! WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO HELP YOURSELF?! WHY THE FUCK DON'T YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS MESS? You can have anything in Cleveland, yet you choose to stay in Toledo, where you've tried to kill yourself more times than I can count, where you have nothing." He yelled, now standing up as he used hand gestures that were more aggressive than necessary.

"WELL MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND WHAT I DID HAVE IN TOLEDO!" I screamed, sitting right up to not let his height advantage him for the first time in his life. "MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND WHERE I GREW UP! WHERE EVERYTHING HAPPENED!" Tears welled in my eyes at the thought of leaving everything I ever knew behind, moving somewhere completely new. I wasn't ready for that. Hell, I wasn't mentally stable enough to leave the hospital, but you get the point.

"I can't leave that house." I quietened down, speaking calmly but definitively instead. "I can't leave what I have left of my childhood, of the times when I was actually happy, my mom, all of that. I can't leave that JP, and you of all people should know that. I can't- I can't leave where we grew up together, where we were happy together." I admitted, staring across at the wall as I fiddled with the restraints.

"You won't be leaving that behind, Devyn. You'll still have the memories, you can keep your stuff at my parents', we'll visit often. You don't have to leave everything behind if you don't want to. And we can be happy again, but in Cleveland." JP lowered his tone too, sitting back down as he stared at me, his eyes full of sympathy. Oh I hated sympathy, and he knows that.

"It's not- it won't work out, JP." I shook my head with a sigh. "I mean, you really think I'm sane enough to move to fucking Cleveland and live like you guys do? I know what kind of life you live. We might not have spoken in years but I still know about it, JP, and you really think that I'd be okay like that? I'm not okay with a boring life in Toledo - I still managed to fuck that up. It won't work."

"It will, Devyn!" He insisted. "We'll all help you through it. And trust me, it's not as bad as it seems. Just a few nights a week. You'll have time to chill, you'll have your own bedroom to escape to. We'll work this out. Hell, we'll change to help you. We will be there for you, Devyn, why can't you understand that?" He stared at me, waiting for an answer.