You're The Straw To My Berry (Phan)

Part fourteen

PJ P.O.V.

I had to smile to myself as Chris fell asleep immediately after he put arms around me, burying his face in my neck. I wrapped my arms around him to pull him closer to me. I always liked how he fitted in perfectly at my side.

Best friend.

The words repeated in my head but somehow they never felt right when describing us.

I could imagine being in a relationship with Chris. Sleeping like this every night, waking up with him nestled in my arms. Sneaking in kisses when we made dinner together and holding hands when we went on adventures. I wanted to feel more for him but my heart wouldn't let me and I was sure Chris didn't like me in that way anyway.

I was just glad he was sleeping. He hadn't told me but I knew he hadn't slept for almost a week. He had been tired, I could see it in his blank expression, but he had been kept awake with thoughts that clouded his mind. I wish he would talk to me to tell me what they were but he seemed to refuse to and instead stared into space keeping his battles to himself.

Chris wasn't Chris anymore. Lately he seemed to have lost the ability to be happy whereas before there would've always been a smile planted on his face effortlessly. I wanted to know what was wrong. I wanted to know what had changed. I didn't know what happened to make him like this, but I promised him I would fix him, and maybe finding his smile was the start.

I always hated it when Chris was upset and when he told me what was bothering him I would always go out my way to try and make it better. He would always tell me what was wrong but not this time, because something was different but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I needed him to tell me what was making him this way so I could make things okay.

* * *

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

My phone vibrated on the bedside table waking me. I threw my left arm out and moved it around until I could grab my phone. I peeked at Chris who was still peacefully sleeping. I squinted to look my phone and saw a text from Phil.

Peej, could you come over and see what's wrong with my camera?

Sure, when do you want me round? I texted back.

Anytime whenever it suits you, I'll be in all day.

Be there in half an hour, I wrote. I looked back at Chris, deciding that I wanted to be there when he woke up and erased it. Whether he admitted it or not, he needed me and I had to be there for him like he had been there for me.

I'll tell you when I'm on my way.

I put my phone back on the bedside table and snuggled back into Chris and hugged him tightly, his soft snores sending me back to sleep.

* * *

I knocked on Phil and Dan's door a few hours later, leaving Chris back at home while he was showering. The door opened to reveal Phil in a bright blue shirt which brought out his eyes and black skinny jeans.

"Hey Peej, thanks for coming," he stepped aside and I walked into the apartment and into the living room where I found Dan sitting cross-legged on the sofa holding a bag of Maltesers and paying close attention to the TV. My heart skipped a beat at the sight. He looks so cute when he's concentrating.

I saw Phil's camera on the table and sat down at it, picking it up.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked him. He launched into an explanation that was so long and complicated that it hurt my brain. Eventually he handed me his laptop and I plugged it in and spent half an hour clicking about and making changes while he brought me cups of tea and talked to me.

"I need to go out and get a few things, will you okay if I leave you here with Dan?"

"No, Dan's terrifying," I replied sarcastically and Phil laughed.

"I heard that!" Dan's thick accent called across the room and I laughed with Phil.

"I'll be back in half an hour, I'll see you guys later," he kissed Dan on the forehead before leaving and I ignored the familiar ache in my chest.

I spent another ten minutes on the laptop and whispered a 'yesssss' to myself as I fixed his problem. I leaned back in my chair and stretched and glanced over to Dan and smirked.

It was us.

Alone.

I got up and sat next to Dan on the sofa, having to smirk again as I watched him tense.

"Hey Dan."

"Hey... Where's Chris?" He asked nervously.

"Home, he's not been feeling great."

"Oh," I looked at him and remembered how he kissed me back. I knew I shouldn't do it, but I needed that again.

Dan looked back at me and smiled awkwardly and I took the opportunity. Moving quickly I crashed my lips to his and put my arms around his waist. He froze momentarily then put his put arms around my neck and brought me closer to him. He kissed me back forcefully and I smiled into it, knowing he wanted this just as much as I did.

I pushed him so he was lying down and I climbed on top of him, locking my hands into his hair. He broke the kiss and gasped for air, my green eyes looking into his brown ones. So beautiful.

You could see he was scared and felt guilty but also intrigued and loving it. Without a second thought I kissed him again and this time he returned it without hesitation.

I bit his lip and he moaned before our tongues danced together; I would've stayed there for as long as I could but after a few minutes he pushed me away forcefully, but I still hovered above him with my knees at either sides of his hips and his arms fell from my shoulders.

"PJ, what are you doing?" He asked, looking fearful.

"Don't lie Dan, we both know what happened at the party," I smirked but his eyes widened.

"PJ... I... I can't do this..."

"Shh its okay, I know you love me," the door slammed and Dan pushed me onto the floor. I got up and walked over to the table while Dan sat up and fixed his hair and shirt.

"Hey guys," Phil came in smiling and I returned it, feeling slightly guilty.

"All fixed," I beamed, handing him back his camera.

"Peej, you're amazing."

"I know," I grinned. "Well, I should get back to Chris, I'll talk to you later guys," I winked at Dan when Phil wasn't looking and he glared at me. I held back a laugh as I walked out the apartment and found myself smiling all the way home.