You're The Straw To My Berry (Phan)

Part forty-two

Chris P.O.V.

I got a strange feeling in my stomach as I walked to the shops, one that told me I shouldn't have left PJ alone. I shook off the thought and told myself I was being stupid, there was no reason that he wouldn't be okay. 

I got to the small supermarket and took my time walking around getting a few essential things for Peej and I. The thought of him made me smile; I still couldn't believe we were together. He seemed happy now, maybe he didn't need the counselling sessions and was right about just needing time. I didn't regret overreacting and taking him to the doctors, I thought best friends were supposed to go over the top, and besides, it showed him I cared and only wanted the best for him.

If PJ could move on from Dan then I was sure that with support, Phil could too. I made a mental note to see him tomorrow as I made my way to check out and smiled cheerily at a tired-looking girl at the till. 

* * *

The moment I approached our door, I could sense something was wrong. I wasted no time in unlocking it and just putting the shopping bags down in the hallway and searched for PJ. I didn't have to look far - he was doubled over on a random spot on the floor, his arms around himself as if to keep him together. 

"Peej?" He looked up at the sound of my voice and I could see he had been crying. His beautiful eyes were now bloodshot and puffy and his face was flushed. I positioned myself in front of him so I could take him in my arms and he gladly accepted the offer, burying his head on my chest. 

"I love you," he mumbled so quietly that it just about reached my ears. 

"I love you too. Sweetie, what's wrong?" 

"Dan," and the one name set him off again. 

"What about him?" 

"H-he came over," I froze. I felt a sense of relief that he was back, but I was scared about what happened and angry at Dan that he had upset PJ like this. 

"And? What happened?" 

"He told me he loved me... But I told him that I didn't love him anymore and that I was in love with you and that Phil loves him more than I ever did, then I told him to leave," he was in love with me? I allowed myself to blush at his words then went back to the seriousness of the situation. 

Why was he so upset? Did he still love Dan and was confused about his feelings and what to do? I couldn't believe that Dan would be able to mess things up again when I just got PJ back. 

"So why are you crying?" 

"It hurts, the memories of him hurt. I can still feel how it felt when he rejected me, nothing has ever put me through so much pain. He turned me into a total wreck and I'm scared he's going to do it again." 

"Do you have to choose?" I asked before I could stop myself but I knew the question would just burn in the back of my mind if I didn't. 

"Choose what?" He locked his eyes with mine, trying to find out what I meant. 

"Choose between me or him." 

"What? No! Didn't you hear me? I'm in love with you, and I wouldn't change that for anything. It's always been you."