You're The Straw To My Berry (Phan)

Part twenty-four

Dan P.O.V.

"Dan? Dan! Wake up!" Was that Phil? Why was Phil here? Didn't he leave me? He was shaking me and my eyes flew open in full alert.

"Phil? Is that you?"

"Dan, are you okay? You were screaming in your sleep." 

"I was?" 

"Yeah." 

"Oh. Phil?" 

"Yeah?" 

"How did I get here?" 

"I picked you up and brought you here." 

"Oh, thanks." 

"Dan?" 

"Yes?" 

"Why are you wearing my hoodie?" 

"I missed you," I turned onto my side so I was facing him and it was evident that he had gotten much less sleep than I had. He eyed me wearily, neither of us talking. I wanted to say something, but I wasn't sure what.

After a while, he sighed sadly, and the feeling of my stomach sinking returned. 

"Dan-" 

"I'm sorry Phil, I'm so sorry," I started crying again but forced myself to stop because I still didn't deserve to. Why was I upset? Because of what I did? Because I was found out? 

"Just, please, tell me what's been going on with you and PJ. I need the truth; I'm worth that, at least." 

"Well... I..." I took a breath and formed some sentences in my head before starting again. "It all started at Alex's party... PJ found me and said he wanted to talk. So we went somewhere quieter and he asked how our relationship was going, and I said it was going great then I asked if he had found anyone he liked yet, then he got really upset and I took him into Alex's bedroom," Phil tensed at those last two words and I could tell he was expecting the worst. "So we sat down on the bed and he told me he was in love with me," Phil's eyes widened. 

"He told you that?" 

"Yes." 

"And you didn't know before?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Dan, have you seen the way he looks at you? Even I could see it, you're so oblivious," I flushed and bit my lip, feeling embarrassed.

 "Oh," was all I could say. 

"Carry on," he urged. "What did you say when he said that?" 

"Well... I didn't get a chance to say anything... he... he kissed me, and-" my voice turned into a whisper. "I kissed him back," Phil's eyes filled with tears and it made me realise how bad I had hurt him. "I wasn't thinking straight, but when I realised what I was doing I pushed him off and left him, then I started to look for you so we could come home together but I couldn't find you so I texted you and came home myself." 

"And you didn't do anything more than just that with PJ?" 

"No, I promise." 

"So, then what happened?" 

"The next day when I went out with PJ, it wasn't to look at lenses; I asked him if he remembered the night before. He told me didn't, but he lied to me, but I didn't know that then. When he was over and you went out, he sat down next to me on the sofa and he started kissing me again." 

"Did you kiss him back?" 

"Yes," I felt ashamed and dirty, I couldn't even look Phil in the eye. "But then I pushed him off, and that must've been where you heard what I said, and then for the next few weeks I avoided him, I didn't want you finding out and I couldn't risk it again. I love you Phil, I'm so sorry." 

"Okay." 

"Okay?" 

(A/N: This is not a TFiOS reference omfg I wrote this before I read the book!)

"Thank you, for telling me." 

"Phil, why aren't you forcing me to pack my things right now?" 

"Why would I?" 

"Well I did just tell you I made out with one of our close friends twice, anyone in their right mind would be throwing me out, and you deserve someone better." 

"Dan, I waited forever for you and I don't want to throw it all away. If you want to, I think we can work this out." 

"Really?!" I couldn't believe what I was hearing, was he really going to give me a second chance? 

"Yeah," he smiled at me with teary eyes and I breathed out a sigh of relief. I wasn't going to screw it up this time. 

"Oh my god, thank you," and I brought my lips to his. 

"I love you Dan, just please don't do that to me again." 

"I love you too. I won't, I promise."