A Soul's stir: Candenza ||Completed||✓

chapter twenty one

Disobedient

Disappointment

Cheap

You just had to let your list yield fruit

You broke their marriage

Adulteress

Home wrecker

Unworthy

Filthy

Stop it....

Why should I? I'm only telling it as it is. Besides I can't go anywhere, I'm after all your conscience.

Of all the things to do you tainted the sanctity of marriage!

Hypocrite!!

You preach it but you can't walk it!

If you had been a little more committed, read your Bible more! Even prayed that morning you wouldn't be here right now.

Just why did you decide to wing your prayers that morning? If you hadn't you would have been better prepared for the day! Or night.

Hyperventilating, she tried to get out of bed but something held her down. She couldn't move even if she wanted to.

Jesus! She thought and it let up.

She stumbled out of the bed and ran out her room as quietly as possible.

Soon she was out on the patio where she curled up in the swing chair an buried her head in her hands. Her knees couldn't be pulled up to her chest anymore because of her bump.

Whenever she had bad nights as these she took her mind back to the devotion when Mama Becs had told her that God had forgiven her and that she should accept it.

Then she'd repeat that God had forgiven her before she burst out in tears.

She can't forgive herself, how then could God forgive her?

Disappointment

You preach it but you can't walk it!

She started taking deep breathes and repeating that God has forgiven her. Then she'd be able to drift into a little sleep, sometimes she'd dream of burning in hell.

******

She heard them before she saw them.

'This is getting out of hand Jason! She's not sleeping, something is wrong and she's not talking!', mum said to Dad who when she peaked was nursing a cup of coffee.

'I know that babe, but as much as I want to you can't force a horse to drink even if you force it to the river. I can try to talk to her, but only if she wants to talk about it. We still have the option of prayers, so we're not entirely helpless', she saw him pull her into a hug.

'But the bible says that faith without works is dead, I feel like we should be doing something but i don't just know what?'

'It'll come to us at the right time. Right we need to be all the support and love that she needs at the moment',

She chose to make her presence known by stepping into the kitchen. Her mum raised her head and opened one arm for her and she quickly walked into the hug with both her parents. And then the tears came.

'Oh honey, what is it? If you don't tell mummy she can't fix it', she said to her as she kissed the side of her head.

'I can't sleep mummy', she mumbled but she was heard loud and clear.