Don't Say You Love Me

Chapter FORTY FIVE

Teegan

I know my mom isn't exactly comfortable with the idea, but she sits beside me as I make the call to the airport and confirm there's a flight on Wednesday morning, back to Seattle. Thankfully, they let me transfer my flight with only a bit of a fee. My mom agrees to pay it, even.

   When I end the call, somehow she's smiling at me.

   "The day you got here? When I was having that barbeque with all the neighbors and stuff?" she says, waiting for me to nod. "I was so afraid you'd decide you didn't want to stay more than a week."

   "It was iffy there for a few days," I say, but then force a laugh. "But honestly... this summer has changed my life. My perspective. I didn't know you wanted me to live here, all those years ago, Mom."

   "I figured your dad never told you. That doesn't matter, though. I know you were raised well and taken good care of." She pauses and cracks her knuckles, something she does when she's nervous.

   "Yeah. I was. And now I have the chance to really have you guys in my life," I tell her. Tears are forming and it won't take long until they are here.

   "From New York, right? Teeg, you're still going to New York." She looks worried as she says this.

    I swallow hard and nod. "I am. Of course. But things feel to up in the air with Cohen, and Rex..."

   "I'm not mad you're staying an extra few days," she admits. "I just really hope Rex is okay."

   "Me, too."

   

   It's Sunday evening when I text Cohen again.

   Hey. I need to talk to you. Can you call me?

   I see it's read about half an hour later but he doesn't reply and he doesn't call me. I read some books to Oscar and Josie. I help with their baths and put them to bed, after I told them I'm staying a few extra days.

   I lay awake until 3A.M. wondering if I made a mistake. If Cohen can just ignore me this much now, why am I changing my life around for him? He's going through something hard, I know that. If it were my best friend, I'd probably act the same.

   At 7A.M. Monday morning, I try again.

   Cohen, I'm not leaving today. I changed my flight to Wednesday. I'm here if you need me.

   I don't know what else I can do. He's seeing my texts and ignoring me.

   I work at the Hut that day, because it's supposed to be Cohen's shift and I'm here anyway. After I am done the shift, I walk down to his house. I knock on the door and wait. No one answers. I go around to the back and look in the window, where I can see the kitchen. It's empty. There's no one there. It doesn't seem like he's been here at all since Friday night when we left to drive to Santa Maria. As I walk home, my heart beating too fast, I hear a car coming up behind me. Glancing over, I notice that it's slowing down.

   It's a white truck that I sort of recognize, actually, and the window is down.

   "Teegan," Luke says, his face as serious as ever. "Hey."

   "Oh, hi." I don't look him in the eye because I'm too afraid. What if he knows more than I do?

   "Have you been to see Rex? Shit, I think I'm still in shock about it," he goes on, and then runs a hand through his hair. "Cohen hasn't left the hospital."