Don't Say You Love Me

Chapter TWENTY THREE

Cohen

Being down at Smuggler's Cave with Teegan was the best. It made me feel free and like I could forget that there's bad things in the world, like cancer and guys who punch you in the face - repeated - because you hit him first. I had one hour with this girl who makes me feel things I haven't felt in months, and I didn't even tell her how I feel.

   I can't. It sucks, but I have to man up and tell her that Lola is my ex before I can tell her that I like her.

   It's Wednesday now and I have the whole day to do anything I want, and all I want is to see Teegan. Yesterday, I went to the fair with Rex and his brother. I tried to stay distracted and really tried not to care that Teegan hadn't even texted me. Today, I am just down the road from her house - her mom's house - and I just hope she texts me. The ball is in her court now. I showed up at her house on Sunday. I asked her to meet me after work yesterday and I took her to the caves. Now I need her to show me that she wants to hang out again.

   My phone dings when I'm pouring a bowl of cereal and I practically drop the box to rush over. But it's not Teegan.

   Rex: Dude, come over. My mom made enough breakfast for like ten people.

   I smile at the text but I know I can't go. Rex's parents don't really like me. I mean, I've never done anything that bad in all of the years I've known him. I take care of Rex, as he takes care of me. But while they tolerate me, they don't like me. And I will not be going over to their house to eat the extra breakfast. Though that does sound good.

   Me: I just ate. Want to go down and play frisbee at the pier later?

   Rex: Fine, text me later.

   I'm glad he agreed, because that leaves the next couple of hours free for me. I want to wait for Teegan to get in touch with me, but I can't. We don't have time to waste, I know that. I can't stop thinking about her, so I naturally want to see her. After I eat my cereal and wash my bowl, I slip on my shoes and go out the back door.

   Cutting through the back forest, I end up on the road where I can almost see her house. Her mom didn't seem like she knew who I was, but I can't be sure. And this time I see a car in the driveway, so I slip past the house and go down to the beach. I jog the opposite way before turning around and coming back, slowing down near the beach outside their house.

   Please see me out here, please. Teegan, just look out the back window.

   I wait an extra two minutes but she doesn't come. It's not like she can hear me telepathically. I keep walking past her house as far as I can go until I get to the rocky spot. That spot where I reached out and took her hand. My head feels so strange at the memory of being with her, holding her hand. It's so innocent but it was so much, too.

   I love how she's comfortable with me. I really love the way she smiles at me. I don't know what any of this means because I'm not an idiot - I know the summer goes fast and she's definitely leaving. I should know better than to get involved or attached to her. But it won't stop me from at least hanging out with her again.

   "Hey!"

   I'm totally lost in my thoughts when I hear a voice calling over to me. I look up and there she is. Is my brain playing tricks on me? She's walking closer, wearing jean shorts and a red, baggy t-shirt. Her hair is up in a pony tail and she's got this serious look on her face.