Don't Say You Love Me

Chapter SIX

Cohen

"Dude, you have to get over her."

I look over at my buddy, Rex, who's lounging on the hammock in my back yard. He's too big for it and his long, lean legs are hanging off the end, but he doesn't care.

   It's the end of June already but I just got here, back to Avila Beach, about a week ago. Rex is likely the only friend I'll have this summer, because he's known me the longest and didn't get butt hurt when I disappeared in the spring, like everyone else did. It's not like a had a choice when I had to leave.

   My dad died. It wasn't sudden or anything, he'd had cancer for a few years. It hit my family hard though and within a few weeks of the funeral, my mom packed us up and we left for San Diego, where my mom's family all lives. She needed them. My sister needed them. But me? I don't know what I needed. I didn't want to leave, though.

   "I am over her," I tell Rex, leaning back into a beach chair, closing my eyes.

   "You've already tried to figure out where she is tonight," Rex accuses me.

   My eyes pop open again. He's not wrong. I saw some posts on Instagram and found out about the party. "I saw the party was going on and assumed she was there. I didn't -"

   "Cohen. Dude. I'm sorry. But Lola is not going to get back together with you." Rex is leaning forward now, looking over at me.

   I don't know why we are having this conversation. "I didn't say I wanted that."

   "You didn't have to."

   I throw an empty can of soda at him and it hits his shoulder. He grunts and then laughs. "I missed you, though. Honestly. The last couple months at school were lame. How was school in San Diego?"

   I came back to Avila five days ago but this is the first time we're really getting to hang out. Rex's parents are strict and they don't exactly think I'm the best influence on him. Thankfully, Rex continues to be the awesome friend that he is. My other friends, including Lola, my girlfriend at the time,  were mad at me for leaving town. Like I had any control over my dad dying and my mom making us move. I was seventeen. I just turned eighteen in San Diego three weeks ago.

   "It was a huge school with like two thousands kids. I got special treatment and didn't even have to write exams. It's like they passed me and let me graduate out of pity," I tell him, shaking my head.

   "Dude. That's... I mean..." Rex doesn't know what to say to this.

   "Rex. I'm okay. It's been almost four months since he died. My mom was still crying every night, as of last week," I pause, to take that in. "I miss him and I wish he was still here... but I'm okay."

   "I'm glad your mom let you come back for the summer. For real," Rex tells me, then adjusts himself and sits up. "How's living on your own?"

   "It's cool," I say, because I don't want to tell him it's hard. "My mom's got eyes on me, though. Her friend, Kelly? Uh, Luke's mom? She's got her checking in on me."

   "Damn. Luke's such a pushover." Rex shakes his head.

   "I bet he's at the party," I say, and then avoid the look that I know he's giving me.

   "Damnit, Cohen. You want to go to the party that bad?" Rex laughs, but I can tell he's worried about me. He knows that Lola has moved on, and he knows I should definitely not try to get her back.

   "No. I don't want to see Lola with other guys."

   "You're so not over her." Rex is still laughing. "She was with Josh Raman last I heard. That dude's so jacked,"