tally hall incorrect quotes

this is dumb

rob: can i bother you for a second?
zubin: you're always bothering me, but go ahead.

zubin: not gonna lie, i'm kind of afraid of joe...
rob: as you should be.
zubin: no, for real, he's kind of-
rob: as. you. should. be.

zubin: life is like ross. it's short.

joe: *speaking spanish*
zubin: i know, i know.
ross: you speak spanish?
zubin: no. i just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language joe speaks.

joe: no more making fun of me when i misuse dated cultural references, alright? are we cowabunga on this?
ross, sighing: fine. we're cowabunga.

joe: bora, get that hideous thing out of the living room, would you?
bora: rob, joe wants you to get out of the house.

rob: joe, i am questioning your sanity...
bora: i never questioned it, i knew his sanity was missing from the start.

zubin: i lost ross.
andrew: how did you LOSE ross?!
zubin: to be fair, he is very small.

ross: what makes you all smile?
andrew: friends and family.
bora: snacks.
joe: victory and success.
zubin: Face muscles.

ross: *holding a salt packet* it's just a little sodium chloride.
joe: actually ross, it's salt.
ross: that's what i said, sodium chloride.
joe: uh ross, that would be salt.
joe: *takes salt packet from ross* this is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. so not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

rob: sometimes i drink milk straight from the container.
joe: the cow??
rob: what?
ross: joe, W H Y?

rob: is stabbing someone immoral?
bora: not if they consent to it.
joe: depends on who you're stabbing.
ross: YES??!!?

andrew: honk.
rob: WHAT.
andrew: HONK.
rob: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????

bora: everyone synchronise your watches.
andrew: i don't know how to do that.
zubin: i don't wear a watch.
joe: time is a construct.

*ross and joe enter a dive bar*
ross: look, i know you're disappointed but could we at least have a drink.
joe, in a scuba diving suit: i would like to leave, please.

joe: did you buy eggs like i asked?
andrew: even better!
joe: what the fuck did you-
andrew: *holding up a chicken* her name is fluffy.

ross: may luck (and this picture of joe eating shredded cheese at 3 in the morning) be with you.

rob: zubin doesn't look very happy.
andrew: that's his happy. he's just a bitch.

joe: why do you think i don't like you? i do. i would kill for you.
joe: ask me to kill for you.
zubin: ...first of all, calm down-

ross: i feel like rob is looking down on me.
bora: that's because he's on the counter and you're short.

zubin: don't joke about murder. i was murdered once and it offends me.

until next time *scurries back into the walls*