tally hall incorrect quotes

TWO K READS SPECIAL!1!1!1!1!1!1!2!1!!1!!1!1!!2!2!

hey everyone!! for the 2K reads special (also sort of a five year anniversary thing for this acc lol) this chapter is approximately 2K words long! way longer than normal!! hold onto your seats everyone

fan: omg that was so good!! you guys ATE
rob: yeah, we ate & left no crumbs.
ross, wearing the chicken costume: i didn't leave any crumbs (:

ross: do you have any shampoo? i ran out.
joe: no, i don't like the way it tastes.
ross:
ross: you eat shampoo?
joe: why would i eat shampoo if i don't like the way it tastes??
ross: ...

joe: this isn't going the way you planned, is it?
ross: nope, not in the slightest. it's kind of thrilling, actually! though i could've done without the attempts on our lives.

zubin: you read my diary again, didn't you?
joe: what makes you say that?
zubin: you corrected my spelling mistakes.

rob: you make me angry so quickly. it's remarkable.
zubin: i literally only said six words.
rob: & here i am, boiling with hate.

rob, drunk: why are you so quiet??
zubin: i'm over here, rob.
rob: shshsh i'm talking to zubin rn
zubin: ...you're talking to a cat.

rob: we're playing scrabble. it's a nightmare.
bora: scrabble? scrabble's great.
rob: not when you're playing with joe. he puts words like "venture" & i put "dog".

ross: what's your biggest dream?
joe: inner peace for like 10 minutes

zubin: my hungry ass could never be a brain surgeon.
joe: what do you mean? what do you mean by that?

zubin: rules are made to be broken
ross: rules are made to be followed. nothing is made to be broken.
zubin: uh, piñatas?
rob: glowsticks!
joe: karate boards.
andrew: spaghetti in a small pot.

ross: how do you feel about children?
andrew: uh, they're okay, i guess. i mean, if i saw one, i wouldn't throw a rock at it.
ross: why would you throw a rock at a child?
andrew: i just said i wouldn't.

joe, immediately upon finding a gun: i could kill the sun with this

rob: don't worry. i've got a few knives up my sleeves.
ross: don't you mean cards?
rob, pulling knives out of his sleeves: no, i do not.

rob: hey we need your help- i mean the world is in danger. everything is depending on you
ross:
rob: anyway what's the answer on the math homework question 6
ross: ...it's 18
zubin: 18?
bora: oh i had 15

zubin: how long were you gonna stand there & let him do that?
bora, recording: just a few more minutes.
joe: *pushing a door clearly marked pull*

ross: the next one of you to say "weird flex but okay" is getting kicked out of the band
andrew:
zubin:
rob:
joe: preposterous boast, but alas

joe: i like my coffee how i like my nights...
joe: dark, endless & impossible to sleep through.

(right after everyone had a huge fight)
andrew, making lunch for everyone: this was NOT made with love today, just so you know.

zubin: just got kicked out of church because i yelled "fuck the devil" like what?? i thought we hated this dude

ross: couldn't sleep either?
joe: yeah. bad thoughts, the usual.
ross: do you want to talk about it?
joe: how does the wind work? like... where does it go?
ross, nodding: mine were about beavers.