tally hall incorrect quotes

merry crisis !!

this one is ~100 words longer than normal!! enjoy & happy holidays ❤️

joe: rob, do you ever stop talking?
rob: does the stock market ever stop? don't think so.

bora: my policy is "if you see something, say something".
andrew, raising his hand: i saw a frog on the sidewalk today.
bora: outstanding. this is what i'm talking about, people.

zubin: rob pissed me off yesterday, so i changed my phone background to a random picture of some guy.
andrew: oh come on now, zubin. you guys are best friends. do you really think rob is that jealous or insecure?
rob screaming from another room: ZUBIN! WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?!

rob to zubin: i don't mind you criticizing me because it's one of the few times you're not talking about yourself.

rob: wouldn't it be fucked up if vegetables were actually sentient & could feel things when we ate them?
joe: rob, repeat after me:
joe:
rob: you aren't saying anything
joe: exactly

ross: why are you always so paranoid?
joe: i threw a boomerang once & it never came back. now i live in constant fear.

andrew: good job, guys.
rob: you're giving us stickers?!?!!
andrew: not just stickers. they have kittens saying "me-wow!"
joe: we're not toddlers.
andrew: okay, i'll take it back.
joe: hey, we earned these, back off!

rob: studying? more like student dying!! am i right or am i right?
andrew: are you okay?
rob: i have been awake for 103 hours (:

ross: i trust you, joe.
joe: that's a bad idea, ross.

rob encountering joe at 5 am: oh, good morning. didn't know you're an early bird.
joe: i'm not. i'm heading to bed now.

rob, mockingly: well, aren't you sugar & spice & everything nice?
zubin: well, aren't you rudeness & sarcasm  &... uh...
rob: no, go on. you find something that rhymes with rudeness & sarcasm & i'll never bother you again.

andrew: guys, what did we say about self-care?
zubin: more espresso, less depresso
ross, helping out: no
rob: don't be sad. sad backward is das, & das not good.
andrew: no
bora: it be like that sometimes
ross: no
joe: it eez what it eez
ross & andrew: no!

bora: there's no science where we're going tonight, my friends. only bloodcurdling horrors from beyond... joe, do you have your toothbrush?
joe, holding up six toothbrushes: i have all our toothbrushes.

zubin: i wanted to apologize about my behavior last week.
rob: oh?
zubin: but then i realized i wasn't sorry.

bora: it's quick, it's easy & it's free! pouring water in your socks!
ross: why would we want to do that?
bora: it's quick, it's easy & it's free!

zubin: hey joe, wanna hear a joke about a ghost?
joe: no
zubin: that's the spirit!
joe:
joe: sometimes i wonder why i befriended you.

bora: what are you writing?
joe: the others want to know what kind of crimes we plan to commit. i'm letting them know it's private information.
bora, peering over joe's shoulder: that just says "fuck around & find out" in calligraphy
joe: mhm

ross: why are you two dressed up as each other?
rob: i couldn't think of anything scarier than joe.
joe: zubin told me to dress up as the stupidest thing possible.

rob: you're fucking weird.
joe: & you are adequately self-aware enough to recognize the hypocrisy of that remark.

zubin: every time i have a conversation with you i waste hours of my life. you're just too interesting.
bora: i can stop being interesting. watch this.
bora: *freezes*
bora:
zubin: hello?
bora:
zubin: okay, well now i have to stay here & see how long you can keep this up.

joe: i scare people lots because i walk very softly & they don't hear me enter rooms so when they turn around i'm just kind of there & their fear fuels me
zubin: how did you get in my house??
joe: exactly