tally hall incorrect quotes

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joe, texting: answer your phone
ross, texting back: wait a minute, i can't find my phone
joe: understood
joe, 5 minutes later: you're a terrible person. you know you're killing me. you're killing me, ross.

joe: uh, bora? zubin is in the pool and i don't think he's waterproof.
bora: what?
ross: i think he meant, zubin is drowning.
bora: WHAT?!
*meanwhile*
zubin: *is drowning*
rob: OH MY GOD, ZUBIN! KEEP SWIMMING!
zubin: i can't swim, dumbass— *sinks*
rob: ZUBIN!

rob, looking at a selfie of andrew's: i hate this photo.
andrew: i'm cute as fuck in that photo! i'm smiling kindly.
rob: you're not smiling kindly; you look like you're up to something.
andrew: up to kindness.

zubin: i should've left you on that street corner where you were standing.
rob: but ya didn't!

joe: if i didn't know any better, i'd say you're impressed.
rob: but you do know better.

joe: we need more help. maybe i should call my friends.
rob: ... your what?
joe: my friends.
andrew: is he saying "friends"?
ross: i think he's being sarcastic.
zubin: no, no, no, this is delirium, he's cracked from being awake all night. hey, joe! all of your friends are in this room.

bora: rob likes to say 'you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,' but i happen to believe you can be both.

andrew: *talking about zubin's funeral* you do know we're burying a great person today!
rob, shocked: did someone else die?

andrew: as someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, i feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

rob: i've invited you here because i crave the deadliest game...
bora, nodding: knife monopoly.
rob: i was actually going to play russian roulette, but now i'm really interested in whatever knife monopoly is.

joe: so we're gathered here today for a very special reason and i think you'll all agree with me here.
joe: and if you don't well then fuck you.
joe: i'm looking at you, rob, you jealous mop.

joe: if karma doesn't hit you, i fucking will.

andrew: do you ever feel bugs on you when really there's nothing there?
rob: those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.
andrew:
andrew: *sobs*
zubin: you fucking scared him, you idiot.

rob: i'm 80% awesome 20% water and 100% handsome.
zubin: that's 200%.
rob: i'm twice the man you'll ever be.

bora: this was almost a great idea.
rob: you just described 90% of our stuff.

zubin: when i said bring me something back from the beach i meant like a conch shell!
rob: *struggling to hold a seagull* fucking say that next time!

ross: look guys, i need help.
bora: love help?
rob: financial help?
andrew: emotional help?
joe: help moving a body?
*everybody looks at joe*
joe: what?

zubin: it's impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.
joe: despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. here's one more to further disprove your theory.
rob: fuck you.