Fragile Heart

Chapter Ten

MAYAs POV
I walked out of the coffee house with my head down and with tears begging to come out. I wouldn't allow them the satisfaction. I made my way to Riley's apartment and she buzzed me in. Without saying any words I wrapped my arms around her neck and she completed our hug. I cried softly into her shoulder. I went from the girl who never cried to an emotional wreck into one week because of him.
"It's okay Maya."
She took my cold palms and guided me towards our place, the windowsill in her room. I instantly felt protected, as ease.
"Talk to me, Maya." She said softly ready to fix me. But she couldn't. Riley was the queen of fixing things but there wasn't anything she could do to fix me, I was a lost cause.
"I don't know Riley. I'm supposed to be stronger than this. A week ago I wasn't even concerned with boys, in fact I despised the thought of relationships. I hated the word commitment because I didn't believe in it. All of this belief links back to my dad leaving my mom. I thought your family was a miracle. The happiness your parents share, the love. I thought it was all just some big hoax. Then Josh came. It started off with an attraction but something about him made me crave more. I knew he was leading me on, I knew I would be left hurt but I didn't care. I wanted to be hurt by him, I just wanted him and all of which that entails. But he doesn't want me Riley. Why am I never good enough? Why does everyone leave? ."
Tears rapidly ran down my skin and I sobbed into her lap. Mascara streamed down my puffy face leaving me looking as messy as I felt.
"Maya, stop feeling weak. I've never seen you as strong as you are right now. You've held your emotions in for years about your dad and your mom. You've been stable and a pillar for your mom. You've never complained about what this unfair life has given you. Maya, you deserve the world. Boys suck. You're going to sleepover and I'm going to order some pizza and we can look through all of the cabinets for junk food. Tonight is a girls night, the only rule is you can't mention boys. "
She was more than I deserved, I wouldn't be here without her. She made life bearable. My heart felt all warm and cozy like a soft blanket or a bear cub.
"That sounds great."
I needed this. Right when I thought I was ready to recover and spend a normal night with my best friend, the bomb that is strapped to my chest finally went off. Cory forced himself through the door expressionless and ran his hand through his curly hair.
"What is it, dad?" Riley asked with concern.
"I have to go pick up Joshua. I'll be back soon, Mom is still at work and Auggie is coloring so check in on him."
"Where's Josh" she asked.
My face was blank and my mind was driving itself to all of these different scenarios that I didn't want to hear.
"He's at the police station. It's fine. Grandma and grandpa couldn't cut their business trip short to come and release him so I'm going to sign him out."
What did he do? My mind began to wander again and my chest felt heavy.
"What did he do?" I asked with my voice trembling and shaky.
"He got into an altercation with another boy. They didn't inform me on who the other kid was but in the process some of the property was destroyed. Well I have to go but check on Auggie every so often."
Another boy? I couldn't quite get a grasp on reality, my face remained frozen and I felt like I was suffocating on my heart.
"Bye dad."
"Maya, who do you think the other boy was?"
I knew who the other boy was, it must've been Lucas. I shouldn't of left, this wouldn't of ever happened if I hadn't of left. I shouldn't of even been hanging out with Lucas alone without telling Riley.
"I don't know." I lied starring down at my black converse. I couldn't gain the courage to look Riley in the eye, Maya hart.. No courage? I was becoming a softy.
We both sat in silence anxiously waiting for the door to open and for there to be news of Josh.
"I know fighting isn't good but I'm sure Josh fought for a good reason". Riley said breaking the silence.
It wasn't for a good cause. It was for me.
I didn't respond, I couldn't. I just kept my eyes planted to my dirty, worn down shoes and studied the shapes of the scuffs.
The door creaked open and I remained starring at my shoes as if they belonged to an art museum.
"Are you coming Maya? Let's go see what happened to Josh."
I didn't want to move, I wanted to stay here until Josh left. But I couldn't, so I mustered up all of my strength and curiosity and followed Riley.
"What were you thinking Josh?" Cory screamed.
I glanced at Josh and my mouth fell a little bit. His lip was fatter than Kylie jenners and he had blood gushing out of it. His eye was puffy and stained a dark violet color with black smudges.
He had several deep cuts placed all over his muscular arms. Our eyes met and I did my best to stand my ground. I couldn't fall back to him just because he was wounded and weak.
"I have to call grandpa and grandma to alert them that Josh is safe. Riley can you call your mom to tell her I picked up Josh and fill her in. Maya would you mind watching Josh and making sure he doesn't fall asleep? He isn't allowed to or he could slip off into a coma."
Of course I was placed on Josh watch. Everyone left to their respective jobs, Riley got on the phone with her mother and Cory called his parents. I knew this would take a while considering the long explanation that follows. Josh and I were left alone in the living room. Sweat began to form and I felt shaky, I didn't want to be alone with him.
"Maya." He said in a weak voice.
"Josh, I don't want to talk. Just rest."
I went to Riley's bathroom to grab her first aid kit and I came back to find Josh past out on the couch.
I shook him violently but he still didn't respond.
"Josh!josh! Josh!"
I continued to scream his name and shake him rapidly. He wasn't supposed to fall asleep. My heart rate sped up.
"Josh! Please be okay."
He suddenly opened his eyes and my heart started to calm down.
"So you do care about me, huh?" He started laughing.
I punched him hard on his bicep and went to walk away but he grabbed onto my wrist and I felt everything we've ever experienced in that one touch.
"Maya, I'm sorry I was joking."
"You can't just do that. I thought you were going to fall into a coma and I don't know what I would do without you."
"I'm sorry."
I grabbed some ointment and a cotton ball and started to clean his wounds. I touched his lip gently to evaluate the damage. I noticed he was huddled over and holding his stomach so I took the corner of his shirt and revealed his beautiful abs. My eyes focused right to the huge gash across his sculpted stomach. I finished taking off his shirt so that I could disinfect his wounds.
He kept starring at me and smiling.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked
"You're beautiful."
"No, I'm Riley's annoying friend that means nothing to you." I snapped back. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I don't care if he's injured, my heart is injured. I was done tiptoeing around his emotions.
"You heard?"
I didn't answer him I just continued to sanitize his cuts.
"Maya, I've been trying so hard not to like you. I don't want to hurt you but I keep doing it anyways. All I'm going to do is hurt you if.."
"Josh stop. Stop, making excuses. Stop telling me you like me when you don't. If you liked me you wouldn't treat me like this. Scared of hurting me? You're hurting me in the process. "
"I'm leaving in three days Maya. I don't want you to get attached, I don't want to get attached because I'll just have to leave."
"So why not take advantage of the time we do have? Why'd you fight Lucas?"
"I don't know Maya. I'm a mess."
I always used those words as an excuse to be reckless and act irrational. I understood when he said them though.
"I'm sorry Maya. I know I shouldn't have hit him. When I saw you run out I wanted to think It was because of him but it's me. I hurt you."
Riley walked back in with face cupped in her hands.
"What's wrong Riley?" Josh asked
"Like you don't know. Why didn't you tell me Lucas was the one you were in a fight with?"
I knew everything was about to unravel so I held on tight to Josh's hand because I needed his touch, the security.
"Riley, I'm sorry. I.."
"Don't even try to lie, I'll ask him."
Ranger Rick was too nice to lie.
I boldly bit the bullet and spoke for Josh.
"Riley, I ran out of your house crying because I overheard Josh tell your dad that I was nothing to him and that I was just an annoying pathetic girl to him. I ran out expecting to go home but I ran into Lucas outside who was on his way to see you. I know I should've told you or asked for your permission to hang with Lucas but I did it anyways because I needed a friend. He took me skating and to coffee and Josh and Lucas got in an altercation about me."
I couldn't read her face, it looked numb.
"Riley?" Josh said
Riley started to cry gently, like a fairy. She did everything gentle.
"I didn't want to believe it but I know now. Lucas likes you Maya. He doesn't like me. I just need to know one thing.. Do you like him?"
That question threw me through a loop. Did I like ranger Rick? My face remained in the same puzzles position for what felt like an hour.