Fragile Heart

Chapter Twenty Six

MAYAS POV
"I don't understand you." I spoke quietly, my sunlit blue eyes planted themselves somewhere far out of the window.
His blazing orbs of hazel burned into my flesh as he maintained his hand firmly on the wheel.
"Why are you looking at me?" I disconnected my eyes from the window to analyze his expression.
He drifted his eyes back towards the road so that we wouldn't crash but he kept his attention glued to me.
"You don't understand me?" He finally released a sound from his perfectly formed lips.
"I don't understand why you can be friends with Logan but I can't?" I raised my voice at him.
"Friends? Maya, we're not friends. I was getting close with him to keep him away from you. Secondly, if you think all he wants to be is friends with you then you're stupid Maya."
My heart hit its brake and screeched its tires to an abrupt stop. Multiple words flooded my mouth but I struggled to put them together.
"I get that enough, I don't need it from you. Just take me home." I shifted my head towards the window to shield his eyes from my tears. I didn't want to appear weak, I was so tired of feeling this way.
"Maya..."
"Josh, just drive me home.. Please." I spoke softly but assertively.
"No, we need to talk." He spoke loudly, his tone brought back traumatizing memories of the way my father used to talk to my mother and I.
"Stop the car." I screamed, I couldn't allow myself to sit in this suffocating environment for one more second.
"I'm not going to stop the car, it's raining."
"I'll call somebody else. I just can't be here right now. Dammit Josh just stop the car." I raised my voice as loud as I was willing to.
My petit body slammed forward and crashed into the dashboard.
"Are you okay?" He gazed over at me with glossy, concerned eyes.
Before I could fall into his sweet eyes, I unbuckled my seat belt and proudly slammed the door. I began trotting my little legs down the street but before long he rolled down his window.
"What do you want?" I glared over into his soft eyes.
"I want you to get in, I want you."
"I need some air Josh, we will talk tomorrow."
"Please get in, your face is turning pale white and the rain is crashing down on you. You're shivering and I can't watch you suffer."
"Then leave."
"I can't, If I leave and you don't make it home safe and sound then I won't be able to live with myself."
"Josh, it's a walk... I'll be fine. Besides, I promise you I'll call someone. I just need space from you. Please understand, if you love me you'll understand. "
He contemplated what I had just spoke and gave me a weak smile. He slowly veered away from my direction and I finally felt at peace. I love josh, I really really do. I didn't need to convince myself or anyone or that, it's just something I knew. I knew we would be just fine , but I also knew we were both terrified of commitment. This was a foreign concept for the both of us and I couldn't allow us to over indulge ourselves in this love, only to end up hurt. He was so sure of what we had, I was sure of how I felt but his sureness gave our relationship stability. I needed to slow down our feelings, I needed a speed bump. I pulled out my water logged cellphone and attempted to call my mother, of course she didn't answer. I walked backwards a couple of houses to Logan's and stood motionless on his steps for what felt like twenty minutes. I finally grew tired of the rain drenching my goose bump covered skin so I knocked on his door.
"Back for more aye half pint?" He displayed his flawless, pure white teeth and gave me that dangerously handsome glance.
I looked upwards at him with glossy eyes and a quivering lip.
"Are you okay?" He instantly switched his tone from an arrogant, flirtatious ass to a caring ass.
He grabbed onto my hand and pulled me into his house and into his arms.
"I'm sorry for getting you wet." I muffled into his chest.
"It's fine, everything's fine." He chucked lightly and tightly grasped the back of my head. I felt like all of my problems were resolved, like I was safely secured under a blanket in my room.
That's what his touch felt like.
"Where's Josh?"
"We got in a fight."
"About me?" He shuffled through his voluptuous hair and appeared lost in thought.
"No, it wasn't about you. I just didn't feel like fighting and being trapped in a car with him. I didn't feel like talking so I ran back here."
"I'll take you home." He grabbed his keys and led the way to his fancy jet black sports car.
"You've got to be kidding me." I whispered, mocking his unnecessary amount of vehicles.
"What?" He laughed gently.
"This is ridiculous. Who needs this many cars?"
"One for every day of the week." He winked.
We climbed into the smooth black one and he turned his radio up so loud that the entire car was vibrating.
"And he doesn't even have good taste in music." I teased him and stuck out my toung.
"This is some grade A rap, my friend." He raises his eyebrows and continued to exit the drive way.
"Where to?" He looked over at me.
"My house, it's on Baker Street.. Couple of streets over. It's a small, little apartment." I bit my lip.
He centered his beautiful brown eyes on my pale red lips.
In one sudden movement I felt my baby like wrists bend into the dashboard and my head kiss the windshield. The several pieces of shattered glass surrounded my body, some stuck into me and felt like an ear piercing multiplied by a thousand. My body felt heavy and I struggled to wiggle my foot lose.
"Maya, I'm so sorry." Logan shuffled his hands to his head and a tear escaped his puffy eyes. Before I could process what was happening I heard the agonizing alarms of the ambulance coming to set me free. Everything after that was a flash, I couldn't seem to focus on the paramedics releasing my numb foot or the pressure on my wrists.. I couldn't concentrate on the ride back to the hospital... All that ran through my mind was Josh. I couldn't help but feel weak at the thought of his face when he found out Logan crashed the car I was in. Or the bruises he was going to leave on Logan's already hurt face. I wanted to scrunch close my eyes like a little kid and have all of my problems evaporate into thin air. Before I knew it, I was lying motionless as my x Rays were taken.
"Is she okay?" Shawn and Katy rushed through the door. Shawns voice was loud, it contained an edge of fear. He pulled on his hair as if it was the only thing keeping him tied to the earth.
"I'm fine." I smiled.
Of course, Shawn was going to overreact.
"She has a minor concussion and a broken wrist. We will get her a cast. She is very lucky."
She was wrong, I wasn't lucky. Luck would've been in Josh's arms right now.
"I'm going to kill Josh." Shawn screamed and nearly ran out the door on adrenaline and anger.
"It wasn't Josh." I whispered.
"Wasn't Josh?" Katy asked puzzled.
Surprise, surprise.. my mom was too busy for me to update her.
"It wasn't Josh. It was Logan." I kept my eyes pointed at the floor.
"Logan?! Who's Logan? I'm going to rip his head off." Shawn erupted. His face was colored an intense shade of red, the red that one sees when they look at the sun for far too long and little specks of red appear.
"Shawn."
I captured his attention and centered it towards my big, baby blue eyes.
"I'm fine."
His breathing began to level out but he continued to pace back and fourth to control his anger.
After the light blue cast was positioned to my arm, Shawn drove us home in silence.
As we pulled into our shoe box of a house, I noticed a silhouette of a boy standing on the steps. When I jumped out of the car in curiosity, I examined the figure and concluded it was Josh.
"What are you doing here?" I whispered.
Shawn and Katy brushed past us into the house, to supply us with a bubble of space.
Josh glanced downwards at my arm and he swallows hard. His fists were clenched and he turned around so that he didn't have to face me any longer.
"I knew I should've just driven you home. I hate myself, Maya."
I engulfed his shaky body into a hug. He gently placed his head on top of mine and the puzzle was complete.
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"What happened?" He took a deep breath and held onto me tighter.
"Don't be mad." I felt several years begging to pour out.
"Just tell me what happened, Maya." He fought to remain calm.
"I walked back to Logan's. I needed a ride and I know I should've just let you take me home, I know. And I'm sorry that but I couldn't sit in your car for another second. Logan drove me.."
"He got into an accident with you in the car?" He broke our hug and I already felt the heat radiating off of him.
"Josh. I'm fine."
"Is it just your arm?" He asked while tugging at his beautiful hair.
"And a concussion.. But it's minor and I'm fine."
"Where is Logan? I'm going to kill him. He walked away?"
"So did you."
"What?" Josh asked in a whisper
"You left when you knew I was in the hospital."
"Maya, he left you. He left before he knew you were in good hands." Josh screamed.
Shawn protruded out the door and broke Josh's screams.
"You need to go. She's had a hard day. " Shawn demanded firmly.
"Sir, he hurt her."
"I was mad too but she's going to be fine and that's all I get focus on now. Maya, go inside."
I apprehensively made my way inside but I kept my ear by the creaked open window.
"Next time drive her home, I don't care if she's kicking and screaming. A real man makes sure she gets home safe."
"I know, I hate myself for it."
I ran out the door in anger.
"You can't lecture him for this. Im stubborn. This is nobody's fault but my own. I'm stupid, I hate myself." I kept pushing Shawn as I said each point until I finally collapsed on the porch in exhaustion.
Josh sat down the porch and wrapped his arms around me, shielding me from all of the destruction.
"I'm sorry." I whispered
"I know, me too." He whispered back.
I couldn't help but ponder over Logan's current state, was he okay? Where was he?
"She should probably get some rest." Shawn interrupted our precious moment and I reluctantly followed his commands.