Fragile Heart

Chapter Fifteen

MAYAS POV
My eyes budged apart and revealed Josh's muscular arms wrapped securely around me. His touch ignited every cell in my teensy body and forced me to express happiness. I smiled so wide that my face began to hurt but it was worth it because for once I knew where I stood with Josh.
Riley rolled over and looked at me with a confused expression.
"Maya! Come over to my bed in case my parents or Shawn walk in!"
Joshs grasp on me was so tight that I had to cautiously limbo under his award worthy arms to escape. I climbed into bed next to Riley and she kept poking me in anticipation of hearing how I got in Josh's bed. I whispered to her the entire story of last nights adventures and she was beaming.
"Maya! A date? What are you going to wear?"
"I don't even know where he's taking me."
I looked over to my phone to see a series of missed calls all from Lucas.
"Why is Lucas calling me?"
"Well he probably is just checking up on you and making sure you're not doing exactly what you're doing."
"And what is that?" I asked befuddled.
"Falling for Josh."
She was wrong, that's not what I was doing. I had already done that, a long time ago. I was done falling aimlessly, I was caught. I could finally feel my heart safe on the ground. He wasn't going to step on it, he was going to pick it up and cherish it.
"I'm happy Riley."
For the first time in forever, I meant it.
"I'm glad Maya. Just be careful, remember it's Josh. He likes you but he is Josh. He makes mistakes and you're fragile.."
"Stop talking to me like I'm some dainty teacup Riley! I can handle myself, I'm sturdier than you think, I trust him."
"Good morning girls, breakfast time!" Topanga announced peaking open the conjoined door.
I slid out of the sheets and made my way towards Josh. I gently shook him over and over until he grabbed my waist and pulled me onto the bed with him. My stomach churned and millions of jitters jumped around my body.
"Come on Josh, we have to go get breakfast." I spoke while laughing.
We all prepared ourselves for our day individually before joining together in the hotel's resteraunt.
"Good morning gang!" Shawn blurted out.
"So what's on today's agenda?" Riley asked.
"I didn't really anything planned, Cory wanted to take me out to lunch. Could you watch Auggie?"
"I guess so." She replied hesitant.
I felt a large hand engulf around my small one causing my hand to feel moist. I could feel myself shaking and my heart ramping like I was made of caffeine.
He had a large grin on his face, satisfied at the affect he had on me.
Once I finished my sloppy pile of blueberry pancakes, I walked away from the table with Riley and Josh following.
"So what are you two love birds doing today?" Riley smiled all goofy.
"I'm taking Maya to dinner and a movie. Trying to keep our first date typical and boring to prove to her that we can be a normal couple." Josh winked.
I don't like normal, I'll never be normal, and that's that.
"How epic." I joked.
Josh wrapped his arm around my waist and we continued to walk in sync watching our feet.
"So did you call back Lucas?" Riley asked.
I shot her a discouraging look so she would quit the Lucas talk but she didn't pick up on it.
"He called you like thirty times, what if its important."
"He's calling you Maya?" Josh asked removing his grip on my waist.
"Josh, don't be like that. I like you and you know that."
"I know I just..."
"Then don't...." I demanded.
"I'm sorry. " Riley mouthed towards me realizing she messed up by bringing Lucas into the conversation.
"I'm going to go grab Auggie so my parents can head off to lunch and shopping. I'll see you crazy kids later." Riley announced waving us off.
Josh roughly threw me over his shoulders and my world spun.
"You're leaving tomorrow." I whispered and felt a warm tear slide down my collapsed face.
"Stop worrying about it Maya, just enjoy today."
He carried me all the way back to our room and poured me onto the bed.
"Is this the part where you kiss me? Because if it is I think we should skip it." I teased.
"Yeah?" He leaned in closer and closer so that I could feel the warmth of his breath.
"This is my favorite.."
Before he could complete his long sentence I smashed my lips against his and all felt right in the world. I smiled uncontrollably in the midst of our make out session.
He pulled away gently and starred at me with his gorgeous hazel orbs.
"What's wrong?" I asked while pouting my lips.
"That's the problem, there's nothing wrong. It's like I'm just waiting to screw up with you Maya. I don't want to leave you tomorrow."
I cupped his seemingly flawless face in my hands and forced him to look at me.
"You're not that far away and we will see each other a lot more on breaks." I insisted.
"What if you fall for Lucas while I'm away?"
"I like YOU Josh."
He continued to roam his hands around my waist and tangle his lips up in mine.
A repeating buzz that made the table beside us vibrate interrupted our dancing toungs. I looked over and read Lucas. He has called so many times this trip, what if it was important. He was my friend and I couldn't neglect him forever, id be back in school Monday with the cowboy.
"I'm going to call him back." I said loosing our eye contact.
"Maya, come on."
"Josh, he's my friend. I'm worried about him and our friendship won't be in tact if I don't.."
"Come on, you'll see him tomorrow. You won't see me Monday morning or everyday. I'll be gone, just enjoy this time with me and stop worrying about that stupid boy who still wants you."
His voice was laced with anger but I could sense him fighting to stabilize his anger. I felt something click in my brain when he called Lucas, it was like a fire started in my mind and I wanted to say a million things but I bit my lip. I reached for my phone and disregarded joshs request.
"Hey Lucas." I said flatly not knowing what to expect.
"Hi Maya." He said sounding shaky.
"What's wrong?"
"I just wanted to hear your voice. My parents were fighting and my dad hit my mom. I didn't know what to do except cry. I didn't do anything and it's all my fault. I'm a coward.I just needed to hear a friend's voice. I'm sorry for bothering you." His voice trailed off and I just wanted to reach through the phone and give him a hug. My heart shriveled up in my chest and I felt like somebody was aggressively kicking my stomach. I understood his helpless feeling. I couldn't do anything to make my dad leaving better and he couldn't take back the abuse his dad showcased on his mother.
"Hey, listen to me. I'll be home tomorrow and I'll help you distract yourself like when you helped me forget about my troubles with Josh by taking me ice skating. We can do whatever you want. I miss you too. It's not your fault, don't ever think that for a second. I'm sorry Lucas, you're not a coward."
"Thanks. How's Josh?" He asked with a trembling voice.
"It doesn't matter right now."
"I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bye Lucas."
"Bye beautiful."
My lips quivered into a little smile.
"What did he say?" Josh asked interrupting my thoughts.
"He just needed a friend."
"Friend? Maya, you're so naive. He's probably lying to you because you're a good person and you'll be there for him. He is manipulating you into being his girlfriend."
"No, he's not. Lucas is the most honest person I know and I could feel his pain through the phone."
"Whatever."
"Josh, you have to understand that Lucas will always be my friend. That doesn't change anything between us."
"You're just a kid Maya you don't know anything."
Just a kid? He was pinning our age difference against me and causing me to feel immature and stupid.
"I'm so sorry."
I turned around with anger in my eyes and that quickly melted away. He had a spell on me and I couldn't remain mad.
"I'll get dinner with you but we aren't seeing a movie,Josh. I expect something more creative out of you." I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows.
"I don't think you're worth that much." He teased.
"Yeah? I mean I guess you're not worthy of my kisses."
"You're overestimating the affect of your lips, Hart."
"So I guess that means I don't have to suffer through your slobbery kisses anymore, Matthews?"
"Take that back, I've heard from many girls that I'm a king at kissing."
"King? Well I guess you could show me one more time so I could re evaluate?"
He smirked and grew close to my lips. Our lips were seconds from colliding and I whispered
"Overestimating the affect of my lips,huh?." I teased and strutted away.
"Hey, you have to stop doing this to me!" He chuckled.
"So Mr.king of kissing, what's our date entailing?"
"Well my queen, we shall go to the winter carnival? I saw it posted in the hotel lobby"
"Sounds cheesy."
"Yeah?"
"Mhm." I responded
"So you don't want to go?" He raised an eyebrow
"And miss out on you proving your masculinity by winning me a stuffed animal that I don't need?" I said in a mocking tone.
He laughed and I felt my chest fill with caterpillars preparing to get into their caccoons and become butterflies.
"Let's go." He said wrapping a scarf around my neck and using his grip to pull me in for a light kiss on my forehead. His fingers tangled between mine and we were off to our last and first date.
The night air was crisp and surrounded us with strokes of black and navy blue. The lights from the carnival illuminated our walk way and vision of each other.
"Let's go on the Ferris wheel!" He suggested winking.
"Only if you jump on it like in the notebook"
"Funny." He said while pulling me towards the gigantic wheel of death. My stomach flipped and my chest felt like it was undergoing a heart attack. I stood with my feet planted holding onto joshs arm and looking upwards dazed at the top.
"Maya hart? Afraid of a little carnival ride?"
"No, it's not little." I corrected him.
"Come on. You'll be fine. Trust me." He smiled warmly and I reluctantly grabbed his hand. I think if he asked me to jump out a plane I would say yes if he smiled. His smile had the power of shifting my mood.
We climbed onto a rickety section of the Ferris wheel that was labeled as number five and was disguised as a happy environment because of its mellow yellow paint job. I didn't feel mellow though. I squeezed my eyes tightly closed and buried myself into Josh's shoulder squeezing his arm around mine.
"Open your eyes, it's alright."
"No." I said shaking.
I could feel the cart raise and my stomach drop with each turn.
"We're at the top! Look at the view."
I hesitantly opened my eyes and began to hyperventilate, my heart was beating like it was on steroids.
"Maya it's okay, we will be down soon."
"Why aren't we moving? I don't like this Josh." I felt like I was about to cry.
"Just look at me."
"No. I can't stop thinking about this thing falling. Nothing will distract me. I need to be at the bott.."
He cupped my cheeks and kissed me. I forgot where we were and all of the fear relinquished. As the Ferris wheel turned towards the bottom, my mind turned with images of Josh. I've never felt this way, it was indescribable. All was right and perfect.
We climbed out of our cart and a vivacious blond with long legs walked our way.
"Josh? Is that you?" She lit up like the moon and displayed all of her glossy teeth. Who is she? My heart jumped to conclusions and began to rattle in my chest. I took a couple deep breaths and bit my lip to keep from expressing emotions. I looked over at Josh and he looked happier than her. I could already feel myself becoming less important, a thing of the past like my mother.