Fragile Heart

Twenty Three

MAYAS POV
I entered the dance floor with my arm entangled in Lucas's.
"I'm glad you came here with me Maya." He smiled wide.
"Me too." I said with a weaker smile, I didn't like dances but I liked Lucas so I needed to put effort into tonight. He made everything special, I never expected disaster or hurt with him, he was a disguised angel.
My eyes veered to a face that I haven't witnessed in a while, my heart melted out of my chest and I felt numb. I felt like my eyes were playing tricks on me, deceiving me to see what I so desperately wanted but couldn't have. My eyes froze towards his direction and Lucas noticed me reframing from movement. He looked over and his chest puffed up and he appeared to be unsettled. He took deep breaths as I couldn't breath at all. Josh was swarmed by a mass of girls and I tasted all of the pain from that night being digested into my stomach. I felt physical pain and only he could cause me that. Our eyes finally met over the compact group of girls blocking him from me. His eyes remained on me for what felt like hours but he reverted them back towards the attention of the other girls and put on his flirty face.

JOSHS POV
Mayas beautiful baby blue eyes gave off a spotlight towards her. She was the only person in the room that was visible, she was glowing and her hair swayed perfectly. She looked gorgeous, her dress accentuated all of her curves and well her face always looked pretty. Everything inside me felt like a mashed up bowl of potatoes but I continued to talk to the girls when I noticed her with him. Lucas, the good guy I so desperately want to be for her. As I'm staring at Maya, I'm caught off guard by a cloud of girls that don't match up to Maya, it's not their faults. They are all beautiful girls, but there's no competition when it comes to Maya. It's her, it always has been. I promised Riley I wouldn't go for her, and I can't. I can't hurt her and I won't.

MAYAS POV
When I looked up at Lucas, Josh seemed to fade away. I got consumed in his sparkling brown eyes and he brought me to a different place, a place of just him and I.
"Maya, do you like him?"
"No, I like you." I smiled wide reassuring him.
The dance nominees for King and Queen were called up on stage and I felt my cheeks heat up. I didn't like the attention on me, I wanted to curl up in a ball and scrunch up my eyes so that I could imagine myself not here. Everything was a blur as I look towards the back of the room, I shook anxiously awaiting them to call a name. I was crossing my fingers that it wouldn't be me, why should it be me?
"Maya Hart." My lungs collapsed and I almost wobbled off the stage.
Riley flashed me a grin and I felt a bit of comfort grow inside of me.
"Hey it's the girl who jumped in front of a car because she was heart broken over a guy she knew for a week." A bunch of older, muscular boys all laughed in harmony and mocked me. I didn't care what they thought, I knew the truth. I was used to this, people making assumptions without knowing me. Riley took a chance on me, the dull crayon in the box. She has never made me feel even the slightest bit dull. I felt my heart constrict when I saw Lucas laughing with them, he was supposed to stand up for me. Our eyes met and I felt a tear slide down my red,puffy face.I dashed off the stage like a coward, all I wanted was to say something clever back at them and be that Maya but I couldn't. All of my emotions were swollen, Josh is here to add to this strain I'm allowing my heart to stretch. I body slammed through the crowd of people who began clouding up my ears with their laughter.
"Maya, please I'm sorry." I heard Lucas say as I grew closer to the exit. I looked at him and felt pain, the pain I thought only Josh could cause. The one guy I depended on and thought could never hurt me, did. I brushed past him without saying a word.I heard Riley scream my name but I kept going. I trembled into a vacant teachers room, shut the door and slid down against the wall. I tugged at my curled hair and uncontrollably cried until my eyes stung from the dripping mascara. I looked like how I felt, a complete and utter mess.
"Maya?"
I looked up to see Josh.
"Go away." I cried harder, struggling to catch my breath.
"No."
"Why not? You're so good at it." I spit back.
He scooted his back against the wall and fell against it so that our shoulders were touching. I felt a shiver tingle my broken body.
I gazed upwards at him and our eyes connected. I felt my stomach become an amusement, he always had a spell on me.
"I'm back."
"I can see that." I rolled my eyes.
"I love you Maya."
Love? That word triggered me to cry even more. I felt queasy like I was about to pass out or throw up.
"Josh, you don't love me. If you loved me, you would've called me at LEAST. You didn't even come see me in the hospital. I needed you." Violent streams of water poured from my eyeballs increasing their bright color.
"Maya, I..."
"Don't dare you say those words again. Those words actually mean something to me unlike you."
"What do you mean unlike me?" He spoke laced with anger.
I looked him right in the eyes so that it would touch him.
"You say 'I love you' to every girl you meet, Josh. All you want is to get with them and leave them, you're deceiving and manipulative. You can't just do that with me, I won't let you. I'm not going to be a victim to your game anymore."
"But.." He tried speaking but I wouldn't allow him the power.
"But it's different with me? You mean it?" I asked.
" I do!"
"You don't know the first thing about love." I screamed.
"Maybe I don't but I do know that..that when you were in the hospital, I called Riley every hour on the hour to ask if you woke up. I also know that I couldn't sleep while you were unconscious. I know that I cried and tore my room apart when you weren't awake. I know that the minute I stepped onto that train leaving you, a pain in my stomach wouldn't leave. I know that when you woke up, everything inside of me lifted.. I felt whole again.. Like I was able to breath. I know that when I see you with Lucas, my head hurts and I become stupid. I know that just being with you makes my heart beat faster and yes, Maya Hart does make me nervous but it's a good kind of nervous. It makes me excited and on the edge to talk to you. I know that you're the prettiest girl I've ever met and that your passions make me have passions. I know that I've never felt this way about anyone and just hearing your name makes my stomach go into knots. I also know seeing you cry, burns my insides. I know all I want to do is make you smile and be with you. I know all I want to do is take care of you and that just by being with you makes me a better person...And I know that I love you."
I gulped my tears and scrunched my eyes closed.
He grabbed by face with both of his hands and tilted it gently but forcefully so that I was looking directly at him. I reluctantly pealed open my eyes and fell into his mahogany ones.
"Josh, I've had people leave without a goodbye.. I-I- can't deal with it again. It hurts too badly. I won't let you put me through that."
"In here Maya, I'm not going anywhere." He squeezed my hand lightly and I felt my life being given over in his palm.
"No... I can't." I cried and picked up my feet. I stared to hastily walk out the door but then I felt his grasp tighten around my little wrist. He pulled me around and pushed me against the wall. He slowly started kissing me and I impulsively joined in. My insides felt that familiar feeling they did before when Josh was around, I was trapped back into his web once again. His hand engulfed mine and he pulled me towards his car. I felt the cold rain steam down and glide across our faces, soon enough it was raining as hard as a consistent boxers punch. I started to laugh and he joined in, we looked like idiots laughing in the rain but I couldn't be happier. I started to develop goosebumps and shake uncontrollably. He took note of this and smoothly wrapped his blazer around my shoulders.
"Thanks." I whispered through my chattering teeth.
He grabbed onto my hands and soon enough we were swaying side to side.
"No music?" I teased.
He started to sing, and he was horrible but it was sweet.
I leaned upwards on my tippy toes to terminate the awful sounds coming from his lips. That kiss was award worthy, I felt that happy thrill Josh tangled me up in. "Please don't let me down" constantly ran through my head but I never allowed the words to escape, I was trusting him.