Dark Arrow

Chapter Fifty

I knew this conversation with Steve wasn't going to be a pleasant one, but I had made my mind up and I wasn't going to change it. I couldn't bring Clint back, and I couldn't let myself be consumed by the grief. So as hard as this was going to be, it was the only thing I could do.

I could see the hurt and betrayal in his eyes as he realised I hadn't changed my mind about leaving. I had to, it was the only way this was going to work. All I needed was for him to listen and understand that this was my choice.

"It's not forever, I just need time to process everything."

Steve shook his head, a scowl on his face. I wanted nothing more than to tell him the whole truth. The entire reason I was leaving but it wasn't worth the heartbreak if things didn't go my way.

"I'll call every day." I tried to reassure him. "I'll call every single day, I just need some time and space."

"Why Rain?"

I sighed, taking his hands in mine. "I just need you to trust this is what I need to do."

He pulled his hands from mine, his anger clear as his body began to shake. He wasn't listening to what I was saying. All he could hear was that I was leaving.

"You're pushing me away again!"

Coming from the man that walked away from me not twenty four hours ago when I needed him most. It was doing nothing to keep my own rage in check.

"I'm not breaking up with you Steve!" I shouted back. "I'm asking for some space to heal!"

"Just stay. We can work through everything together, I can't lose you too."

I wanted nothing more than to give him what he wanted, but I couldn't. I had to leave and try to make my own peace with what had happened to me. I knew if I stayed, the memories and the grief would mount up and morph into resentment. Which no doubt would turn to anger down the line and that wasn't how I wanted to move forward.

"If I stay Steve, that is exactly what will happen." I softened my voice, wanting him to desperately realise that I was doing the right thing. "I need to do this."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "And what about what I need? Does that even factor into this?"

Was he serious right now?

"Why do you think I haven't left already? Of course it matters!"

If his feelings really didn't matter to me I would not be stood here arguing over this with him. I would've left when I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

"Well you could've fooled me Rain. This is all about you and not us." He threw his hands up in frustration. "I thought we were stronger than this but I won't watch you walk away from us."

Without letting me respond he turned on his heel and walked back into the compound. I thought about following him, about telling him exactly what I wanted to do, but then I imagined the look on his face if it didn't work. I couldn't put him through that heartbreak over everything else.

"I love you." I muttered to Steve as he went inside.

Picking up my bag, I slung it into the passenger seat of one of Tony's cars. I had one destination in mind and I had to get there and gone again before anyone else realised I had left.

***

Loki watched in anger as Steve stormed inside and Rain drove away. He hadn't heard most of their argument, but he'd heard enough. Now she was leaving with her heart ten times heavier than it needed to be for what she had in mind. He stormed into the compound to go and find some answers from Steve. The two were hardly friends, but for Rain he'd do whatever he had to.

"Hey Spangles!" Loki called out as he entered the compound.

He was biting back his rage for Rain's sake but the idea of throwing Steve out of the window like he had done to Tony all them years ago, well it was becoming more than slightly tempting.

Steve sighed, shaking his head. "Now's not a good time Loki."

"Oh I know." Loki spat back. "I just don't care. Why are you not fighting for her?"

Steve scoffed. While he knew he hadn't handled things in the perfect way, neither had Rain. He wouldn't fight for something that she wasn't willing to fight for too.

"You think I haven't tried?"

"You never could see past your own ego to see how much pain she's in."

Pain that Loki had to help soothe when it should've been Steve. Not that he minded, Rain was one of the few people who he genuinely cared about, but it was clear as she wept in his arms that it wasn't truly him that she wanted. Now she was trying to do something to ease the pain that she carried every day and Steve couldn't seem to see past himself to realise what Rain was truly going through.

Steve was angry. He was angry at Thanos for taking away what he had, he was angry at Rain for leaving, angry at himself at failing to do what he was supposed to. Protect the ones he loved. All of this was defining reason why he found himself now shouting at Loki.

"She's the one leaving and somehow I'm the bad guy?"

Loki rolled his eyes. Even after all this time Steve still seemed to be stuck on there was only good and bad in this world. Had he not realised that it isn't all black and white. While someone may seem to do something 'bad' there could be underlying reasons as to why. The world was shades of grey, and Steve needed to catch up...quickly.

"Did you even ask her why she wanted space?" Loki asked, knowing it was clear he was going to have to spell it out for Steve.

Steve was taken aback by the question, he hadn't had to ask. The answer was clear. "To grieve."

"What words did she use exactly?"

Steve could see there was a knowledge in Loki's eyes, a knowledge that he didn't possess. His whole demeanour changed and quickly, because suddenly he realised there was more to Rain's departure than he currently knew.

"What are you getting at Loki?"

"She isn't leaving to grieve. She's going to heal, or at least she was until you had a tantrum."

Steve's world came crashing down around him as he finally realised why Rain had wanted to leave so badly. He hung his head, unable to word just how sorry he was. He blamed the grief on Rain's decisions, but in that moment he realised he'd been so blinded by his own that he had let the one good thing in his life walk away.

"She didn't want to get your hopes up in case it didn't work." Loki interrupted his pity party.

In that moment Steve knew, he knew that he had to find her, he had to be there when she needed him most. She wouldn't go through this alone.

"Where is she going?"

"I don't know, but there's someone that might."

Without even thinking Steve grabbed his shield and the keys to his motorcycle and stormed out the compound. He had to hope that he wasn't too late. He had to get there in time, to be there by her side as he should've been from the beginning.

There was one destination he had in mind. Tony's.