Dark Arrow

Chapter Fifty Six

Call me a coward, and I wouldn't blame you. I'd been avoiding Nat for so long that I didn't know what to say or do when Yelena reached out—entirely out of the blue. 

Eventually, I caved, the need to reconnect with the woman that was such a big part of my life before I lost those closest to me. She knows and understands me in ways that others don't. Also, Bucky would have my head if I wasn't looking after his girl. 

Fuck, I miss him. I missed his smile, his laugh, and how he could rile me up like no one else. My best fucking friend. I'd have given anything to have just one more day with him. 

I could manage many things with the new powers I'd obtained, but bringing back those we'd lost weren't some of them. Instead, it only fuelled the grief, begging to drag me so deep that I'd never resurface. 

It's funny. Some days it was as if I was fine, as if the entire world around me hadn't changed. And then, some days, it was as if I couldn't see anything other than those that were no longer here. 

Yelena slid a beer across the table to me. "She'll be here," she said, trying to reassure me that I hadn't lost Nat in the shit show I'd created. 

"I pushed her away too. I wouldn't blame her." I sipped my drink, hoping and praying that Yelena was right and I wasn't too late. 

"She said that you're the reason she got a second chance. Do you not think she'd do the same for you?" 

I knew she was right, that Nat was the kind of person who only required an apology. Yet, it felt as though I was staring up at mount Everest without a clue how to climb to the top. I'd been alone for so long; just letting Steve back in was hard. Nat would ask questions. Questions I still needed the answers to. 

Looking over Yelena's shoulder, my shoulders slumped in relief as Nat walked into the little bar we were in. "Guess we're about to find out," I gulped down my fear. But, at least she was here, meaning that she didn't completely hate me at least. 

While Nat got herself a drink, Yelena changed the subject. "How are things going with Steve now you're back?" 

"Honestly, it's like I never left," I told her with a cringe-worthy smile. Of course, being back with Steve hadn't been entirely smooth sailing, which in all honesty, just made me smile even more. Arguing with Steve had always been as easy as breathing. 

And then there was the make-up sex afterwards. Just thinking about it sent shivers down my spine. 

Yelena gave me a knowing smile, nodding her head. "And your powers? You still think they make you dangerous?" 

It was a loaded question because, yes, I did still feel dangerous. Yet I knew that the more I hid from them, from those I love too, the worse they'd become. Understanding that my emotions were linked to them took me a while. The more out of control my life, the more out of control my powers became. 

But the main thing I'd learned was that I wouldn't hurt those I loved. 

"Only to those who threaten me and mine," I said with conviction. 

"I can see why my sister loves you." 

Nat joined us then, taking the seat next to mine. "Yeah, she gets under your skin that way." There was no hostility, just like Steve had told me there wouldn't be. 

"Missed you too Romanoff," I teased, feeling lighter than I had in a long time. 

Nat looked between me and Yelena, a sparkle in her eyes. "Are you both back for good now?" 

"If you'll have me," Yelena said. 

"You know I will." 

"Rain?" Yelena asked, a kindness in her eyes and voice that I never expected to find. "What about you?" 

Between long conversations with Steve and now sitting with the two of them, the answer came as natural to me as breathing. 

"I have no plans to go anywhere." How could I? Walking away from Steve was hard enough the first time, I didn't think I was strong enough to do it again. 

Nat smiled, shaking her head at both of us. "I've missed you two." 

The first time I met Yelena, I never thought she would want to stay in one place. I knew about her from stories Nat told me over the years. But, having her here was going to shake things up in the best way. 

She drained what was left of her drink, signalling the waitress for another one. "So what happens now?" She'd asked, almost excited for the future. 

It wasn't a sentiment I shared. The future still seemed so bleak. But for Steve, for Nat, I'd try. 

"We move on," Nat stated, grasping her hand over mine in support. Of course, she knew that saying it so bluntly wouldn't mask the difficulty of moving on. 

But maybe doing it together would ease the burden, just a little. 

"I'm not exactly Avenger material," Yelena said, a hint of vulnerability in her voice. 

I peeled the label off my bottle, screwed it up and threw it at her. "You're cocky and sarcastic. You'll fit in just fine." 

"She's not wrong," Nat agreed. 

Yelena nodded, lifting her head a little after that. "Three former criminals representing the world's mightiest heroes." 

We all laughed at that. It made no sense when you said it aloud, but it felt right. I had no doubt that Yelena would easily become a part of the team. We could never replace those we lost, but maybe Nat and Steve had a point about moving forward. I could only stand blinded by the past for so long until I reached the point that I may as well have dusted too. 

Bucky wouldn't want that. 

Clint wouldn't want that. 

I didn't want that. 

No. From this day on, I would find a way to live again. To find happiness in the dark moments, and thank the world every day that I was one of the lucky ones. 

So together, we lifted our bottles, clinking them together as I muttered the words that would no doubt come back to bite us in the ass one day. 

"What could go wrong?"