Can I Keep You? [Zarry] *EDITING*

Chapter 21

[ Zayn ]

I walked back to the hotel to get some clothes that I could use for surfing. My plan was, after getting my things, I'd leave quickly. I never expected Dana to go my room. She stood in the doorway and just stared at me. Her eyes is full of sadness but her lips twitch upward, forming a small smile. I really don't know how would I approach her now. Even how to look at her or talk to her. Everything felt uncomfortable unlike before, I almost worship her.

"Going somewhere? Again?" she asked. There's no hint of anger in her voice.

"I-I was thinking, since everything is so complicated, maybe we need space. I'll just stay somewhere."

Dana stepped inside, closing the door behind her. She walks towards me and when she stopped not far away from me, she just stare. I fidgeted in my seat, feeling uneasy. "Can we talk first Zayn?"

"Aahhmm.." I nodded. "Sure.." I put my bag down on the bed and prepare myself on what she's going to say.

"First, sorry for all the things I've said to you yesterday. I didn't mean it. I was j-just shocked. You are not disgusting Zayn. No."

"It's okay Dana. I understand you.."

"I just want to know, when did you became gay? Don't be offended please.." she reached for my hands and squeeze it gently. She was frowning, like she was thinking of something deep. "And who is that curly hot guy that kiss you?

I chuckled. Dana's so cute right now, looking confused at everything. But I think about her question. Am I gay? No. I don't think so. Maybe gay but just to Curly only.

"I'm really not sure Dana. I'm still confused. And Harry, let's say he's someone from my past.."

She nodded understandingly. "Are you staying at his place?"

"Y-yeah.." I clear my throat. This conversation is getting awkward.

"Do you love him Zayn?"

I choked on my own saliva, but when our eyes meet, her's was serious. I can see she wants to know the truth.

"Maybe. I don't know. I'm not yet sure.." I shook my head no, running a hand on my hair. What I'm sure , though, is I'm delusional. I was introvert, believing in all the things I'm thinking. Dana was the first person to show sweetness and kindness to me. That's why I wanted to tie her down with me. I don't want to lose her. But come to think of it, did I ever love her? Maybe Harry was right. I was just thinking that I love Dana but the truth is, I just need attentions.

How come Harry knows me well? But I'm not sure yet if I love him because me neither, didn't know myself at all. But as I spent time with him, so slowly, I was discovering my own self. I had to keep him. Then maybe someday, I would know all the answers.

"I can't do it Zayn. I can't seem to forget Luke and on how he cheated on me." her voice cracked. I stood up and pulled her in a hug. Before, I told her that I would do anything to help her forget about Luke. But I guessed, Dana is the only one who can help herself. "I can't force myself to love again. I need time to think and heal all the pain he cause me." she mumbled against my neck while I rubbed her back soothingly.

"Do what you think is right babe."

She pulled away from me, wiping her tear-stained face with the back of her hand. "Yeah. I need to go back to New York and start a new life. I guess you won't be coming back with me, right?"

I nodded. "Y-yes.."

She hugged me once more. A tight hug. "I wish you happiness Zayn. You deserve it. You are an amazing guy. He's so lucky to have you.."

No. It's the other way around. I am lucky to have Harry in my life.

I planted a quick kiss on her temple before she leave. "Stay happy Dana."

**

"Zayn.."

My head snapped up and I was surprised to see Louis standing outside the hotel. He was holding a blue surfboard. He smile when he saw me.

"What are you doing here Louis?" I asked as soon as I reached his side.

"I'm waiting for you. Harry asked me to picked you up."

"You don't have to do it. I can take care of myself. I'm a guy. Gee, you boys are treating me like a damn girl.." I glared at him playfully.

"Whatever. You don't know Harry. He's overprotective.." he smirked at me. "Let's go.." he tugged on my arm and dragged me to the beach.

"Wait Louis. I told Harry that I'll be back in the cot----"

"No!" I was cutted off by his shout. "I mean you c-can't go back there. He told me he'd just follow us on the beach so c-come.." he avoided my gaze and just keep dragging me, literally.

Why do I feel there's something going on? Smells fishy.

When we reached the beach, the other boys were already surfing. Louis, I can see at the corner of my eye, kept glancing at me like he was watching my every move. He is definitely hiding something from me. Something about Harry. That's why he's stopping me to go back there. I need to know what it is. I'm going to find it out. NOW.

***

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