Fair Conversation ~ The Voices In My Head's GC

home

There's a pit in my chest so deep that no matter what I do, it remains empty.

~

Tear-stained cheeks. Empty soda cans and bags of chips surround me on the cold, tiled floor.  I've been in this state for God knows how long. Depressed, lonely, and on the verge of picking up the rusted scissors I used to open bags of chips and use them on my thighs instead. 

If someone saw me in my condition, they would think I'm overreacting, that I'm being dramatic and unreasonable. That I have so much to be grateful for, and I should think of those other than what occupies my brain, heart, and soul right now.  

I just moved away from my home. The city I love so dearly.

I never thought I could be with my family, and not feel at home. Instead, I feel foreign and out of place. As if I'm not meant to be here. Trying to smile, trying to seem happy, trying to fit in. I see them so happy, jumping and laughing so hard that their stomach hurt. The absolute joy radiating from them irks me. How come they can be happy and I can't? I know that it is selfish. I would trade their happiness for mine. I would do anything, give anything just to be happy like I was. With them, my family. 

Not this one.