The secret life

The secret life. chapter 104 Trust broken then renewed

After they escaped a little after 11 had woke up and started chasing Ashley around the tardis. i was still angry at Ashley our trust had been broken and i know it was going to take some time to heal. i was about as mad as 11 was. but i was trying to to be very calm about it as i was yelling at her. i argued about what had happened and how i didn't trust nightshade and i demanded to know why she trusted him, when he had done so much to hurt Ashley in the past then risked both of us.

"you didn't tell me or 11. and you still wont tell me why you trust nightshade so much. your risk you took could of effected me too." i argue

she defends snapping at me "well at least i did something unlike you! Oh wait no I didn't mean that no I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry you do so much I'm sorry."

i read her words they pierced my heart. that was a topic i had no power to control and that i had cried over and was depressed over many days. her words hurt me in more ways than one.

half about to cry but trying not to i snapped at her "You think i could of done anything! I'm not even there. I'm already mad at you. Don't make me go full rage on you."

she tried to apologize to take back her words but they had already been fired no taking them back. "I didn't mean it! I know you aren't here! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! it just came out!"

my heart still pirced i typed my reply holding back tears "Things you say can hurt Ashley"

she apologizes best she can "I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. I'm so so sorry and I know it probably doesn't mean anything anymore but I'm sorry"

i knew she didn't mean it. however i was still upset by the events before. and her words hurt me... i said what i could trying to be strong and showing my feelings "Even though I'm mad at you. you are still my friend. You are still my duty to protect. we are linked that's got to mean something. I cant stay mad at you. but for the moment it will take some time to heal this anger and not trusting you."

i pause then add "I may or may not cry about what you said..." i said being honest as i was still holding back my tears hadn't shed one yet but felt like it.

Ashley replies "I...I didn't mean it. I swear. I didn't want this to happen. I just wanted to get out! I just wanted to go home..."

i show my feelings to her. its not the first time someone did this. hurt my feeling like this. it felt fimilar. i reminded me exactly of Alexandra. Ashleys sister.

"Its alright. Not the first time someone has crushed my dreams." i state coldly remembering my past.

she replies "I'm sorry. I swear I didn't mean it and i know its not alright and i know your crying."

she knew me. she knew it wasn't alright. and as far as me crying i was still holding it back. i wasn't going to cry i told myself cause once i started it would be hard to stop.

I continued almost on the brink or crying as i recalled the past times she yelled at me and it hurt me. comparing greatly to what i had gone through in the past with Alexandra. "and not the first time you yelled at me for something I couldn't control. or do anything about it. that hurt me emotionally" i finish. swallowing and taking a deep breath so i didn't start crying.

Rani shows up just as i was about to shed a tear and i stopped myself mad at her for showing.