The secret life

The secret life Chapter 14. The untold reality

     "So you know about my future.  How do you know?" "The tardis.  The Doctor showed me."  I think about it "right. Yeah that makes sense.  Um I don't really need any spoilers but do I get the cyberplanner out of my head?" She answers "yes. And in the most dramatic way possible." "ooh looking forward to that." Knowing I did something dramatic and possibly awesome excites me. "Haha." We both laugh.  Like good friends that I still believe we are. "Man it seems like a whole different world the future.  Ok. Question.  Do you know why I don't have all my timelord memories?" Wanting an answer to the question I had for so long. "that's because the fob watch still has an effect on you and until you find it you can't remember" fob watch.. I think. Must of used it. "I used a fob watch?"

      "Ok. Crystal.  I need to tell you a story." I agree and she starts.  "It's about my past It sent it?" "Yep." She continues starting the story.  "So once opon a time there was a girl named crystal.  She was living a perfect life until the timewar started.  Her father stole the tardis and ran, making crystal use a fob watch to hide and now she lives as a human. The end." I take a few moments to think about it. That means I was human for the longest time. And still am. "Why did I hide?" "Because the Daleks were after you."  "So I'm a timelord but also a human" "No" she corrects me. "A timelord in hiding"

     "So question is where is my fob watch and will I be able to find it." She continues.  "You may never." I didn't like that sentence. It sounded like a discouraging sentence.  "I don't want that to happen.  I've just got to find it" I can't live my entire life hiding as a human. Even more so knowing I'm just an echo of who I am. Who I really am. 

        "I have it." She says. "You do? Is there some way you could send it?" We talked more and figured out a good plan to help me to receive my fob watch. It was going to work. I just have to hide it from my parents.  They still don't know that I'm a timelord.  It kills me that I'm hiding who I really am from them. They don't know how extrodinary I am. And they might never know. I was determined to get back who I was. Who I always was. I just hope our plan works.

                          No more hiding no more just being an echo of who I am. It's time to take to the sky.

    The past few days I think a lot about what I've learned about my past. All this time I thought I was a Timelord but really I was just a timelord turned human hiding on earth. I talked more with alex. We told the updates of the fob watch getting to me though the mail. She didn't send ityet. So we continue talking me asking her more about her past that I never can remember only the few memories that I do have. Got back from the affects of the fob watch.  "So how many years have I been human?" I ask  "16 years." I think that's my whole life. I am 16. So that means the whole time. I felt a slight disappointment but I push it aside not wanting to get sad. "It's time to get back who I am."  "The thing is... the fob watch may not work"  "how so?" I ask. "It may need awhile to set in" I was worried about the whole fob watch not working but it may not be that. "The memories I mean" she puts in more detail. "Well at least I get my timelord self back." I say slightly relived that's what she meant.  "I've waited this long for my memories back haven't I." "Yes..!"

         I talked to alex over the next few days. Spending most of the time chatting with my other friends.  Thinking a lot about me being human.  One day I told alex I wanted to talk to my dad. She let me. "Hello? You Rang?" The Doctor said. Remembering the last time he texted me he told me he'd text back the next day. He never did. "You have trouble keeping up with texting don't you? Anything exciting on your end?" He replies "yeah I do have trouble.  And no."  I told him of how I found out about my past and how I used a fob watch.  The situation being on my mind for the past few days. "So your thoughts?" "Happy. Woohoo."  I continue "yep. and when the time is right I'm getting back to you." He texts back. "No. You can never see me crystal.  There is something I've never told you." I think. This doesn't sound good. "Yeah..?"

            "I am hooked up to DALEK machinery and THEIR are slowly turning me into a dalek." "What!? No Doctor!" "I'm sorry. " He says.  "You've got to get out!"

"I cant" I feel empty inside. "I can't lose you..." "You will. Run crystal."  "How. Where." I say feeling helpless.  While he keeps texting.  "Stay. Away."

Not feeling anything inside I text "no... Doctor. " "egg. Egg. Egg. Egg. Stir. Min. Ate." He keeps going knowing what is coming next. I deny the whole thing. As he is yelling exterminate.  "No! Just no!" I sit there. No able to cry feeling empty inside and denying the whole thing. Someone texts.

         "Hello again." Im too empty inside to say anything to the person.  Telling that person all about how I can't cry and I am denying it.  So many times I had heard the Doctor dying but then it turned out to be a trick, or it never happened at all. I kept thinking it was that. Denying it. "it is real this time. I saw it."

"I still can't cry. Oh Doctor... I again am watching from the sidelines not able to help. Just hoping everything turns out well. "There's nothing about this life that isn't dangerous anymore, I've gotten used to it. But what I can never get used to is watching from the sidelines and worrying and hoping everything turn out well" I qoute from my favorite book. Then continue.  "That's one reason why I need my fob watch so I can actually help him. And perhaps finally be with him. I've got to save him. I'm not frightened anymore I'm not nervous or scared I'm determined and ready to take that step to save him. And be with him." I boldly state.

      "HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU." "That's a lie" "HE. NEVER. WILL."  I continue.  "That's a a dalek talking not him"  "HE. IS. GONE." I realize they are trying to discourage me.i won't let them. "Oh you just don't think I can ever save him. But if you daleks know anything is that you should never underestimate my dad."

                "Crystal give it up The Doctor is gone seriously I am so done with your never give up stuff." I don't care what she says. I'm not giving up. The person leaves.

I get a text later in the day. It's alex the person I didn't want to talk to after her trying to discourage me like that. She texts "hi. What happened?" "Alex?"

"Yeah.." I continue.  "Did you read what I put?" "I wasn't on all day..." she says. So it must of been someone else. "Then who was on then?"

"Oh! Sorry. That was missy."  "Missy. Hmm well that's not surprising seems like something she would do. wonder if she was bluffing then" 

        "She was there bluffing." I thought about then realized I had said something in my frustration and emptiness.  "Oh no. I didn't know that was missy. Ah I may have said..dang it! She knows about me needing my fob watch now." I felt stupid for giving out that information.  I need to be more careful. 

Alex had to go to bed. So our day ended. It was a sad day. The day the Doctor got turned into a dalek.