Thoughts, Memories and Dreams From Long Ago - A Poem Collection.

Apology

It took me losing you to find the love that I had,

lost in the sea of my mistakes, of my regrets.

It took me seeing death to see light in my life.

To learn that I could switch the direction of these tides.

To see I still had time to bring you back to me.

To prove that by my side it's where you should always be.

As a friend, as a lover, I don't care which way or how,

just know I really need you, feel you, see you now-

-You have no reasons to return, that I do know.

The last time I showed you kindness, was ages ago.

But I'm learning to be patient, to be gentle, to be soft.

To be what you always wanted, deserved, and never got.

I assure you that I'll never again raise my voice

-if I do, please feel free to scream over the noise,

to leave me, to forget me, to walk out of the door,

and I won't  bother you with my presence anymore-

But I swear, I want to dance with you through the night till the dawn,

to kiss you on the lips as you smile lazily and yawn,

I want to wake up next to you, in our cozy warm bed

not on the streets, in the dirt, not knowing what to do next.

I want to have you, to hold you, to give you my love.

Give you my whole life, my joy and my hurt.

I'll never not apologize for the time that I wasted,

for the love that I mistreated so bad, that it faded,

for all the times that I made you feel frustrated,

for the way I created and nurtured your hatred,

for the way I left you tired, and jaded;

I will never forgive, and I'll never forget

the way that I acted before you left.

There are a hundred things I should not have said,

and a hundred more, you should not have read,

and I won't erase the story I wrote,

but I do hope

that I can add one more scene 

before the end of the show.