We had been really close for five years.
By your side I had nothing to fear.
Like a fish in the sea, I felt free
when I swam next to you, merrily.
Or so, I was led to believe,
as your big, blue net of trickery,
caught and carried away the best of me.
I was fooled, I was hurt, I was beat.
I was fished by my own fantasy.
And it's with all my pained sincerity,
with all my ashamed bravery,
that I have to come clean and admit,
that I never once saw hostility,
distrust, disgust and infidelity
in your bones, in your soul, or in your face,
before you stole my love and sailed away.
And I never once believed
that our unwavering support for each other,
like a sister's support for a brother,
was nothing but lies and deceit,
and as pure as water from the gutter.
I never once believed,
that you'd choke me in my sleep,
stab me in the back,
and turn your back to me.
My dear...
You tore my heart and watched it bleed.
With a sinister smile, saw me weep.
What kind sick, perverted mind
finds pleasure in the sight
of their best friends' own demise?
My dear,
I still struggle to find the words
to make sense of all of my hurt,
and of the way you left me here
to crawl and bawl in the thick mud.
Don't you feel an ounce of regret?
Is it so easy for you to forget?
Half a decade of trust,
Half a decade of love,
thrown away to rust and to rot
between the sword and the sharp rocks.
Did you know the damage you caused?
Did you know just how far this would go?
Or do you reject all of your fault,
and at me all the blame you still throw?
Well I thought that you were my friend,
that you'd stick by my side till the end,
and that you, of all people, would comprehend
the suffering you caused, and make amends.
But I was foolish, wasn't I?
To think that, at least one time,
before your happiness you'd put mine.
I must have been out of my mind!
Friendship? What was our friendship?
A wrecked vessel, lost at sea!
The furious lightning that hits a tree!
A fire that burns at a thousand degrees!
An omen of twisted tragedy!
And to you it was only a game of pretend!
that you played when you were bored,
and on the bend!
And I'm tired of thinking of you again,
because each time it hurts the same.
I can't wish you were deleted from existence,
because I still cherish most of the experience
of loving you, trusting you, without fear or resistance,
but Lord I wish I could forget
the dreadful day when your cold eyes met mine,
and I didn't realize, you were the devil in disguise!
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts, Memories and Dreams From Long Ago - A Poem Collection.
PoetryTBH, this is just stuff that I wrote in my notes app and that I wanted to delete. So I figured, let's just post them here and see what happens.
