Thoughts, Memories and Dreams From Long Ago - A Poem Collection.

Questions

Do you really think I have left you behind?

Do you really think you've been erased from my mind?

Do you really think it is easy for me

To forget who you are

To forget who you've been?

You, who used to cry on my shoulder,

And used to laugh in my lap;

You, who could read me like a book or a map;

You, who promised me galaxies and stars;

You, who were my ending and my start;

You, who promised eternity and beyond;

You painted black our golden bond;

You turned the oceans into ponds;

You dyed blue skies into gray;

You, with your cruelty and dismay.

You made me serious and unkind;

You twisted my words and hurt my pride;

You, whom I trusted above all;

You, the traitor who planned my downfall.

Do you really think I forgot you?

Do you really think that I've gone blind?

That I can't recognize you,

Can't see through your lies?

Well you're wrong, and I can

-Like I could in the past-

Through the fog of the years,

Through the darkness of night,

Because your face is the one thing

That has never left my mind.

And I need you to hear, what I have to say,

Before we both part and go our own way.

I need you to answer, to give me relief,

From doubts that I have, from things I believe,

That can be true and maybe are

I need you to tell me, tell me who you are.

Because there are things I've heard,

That have stirred up my thoughts, 

And I need to discover, if they're true or not.

But before you reply, one more thing I must say:

There is a truth, that you hid all this time.

Something I know, that you cannot deny.

Something that hurts me, deeply inside.

Something that never once crossed my mind

-Not while you were still in my life-.

You never once cared, you only pretended to,

Because that was the thing you felt you should do.

Your played with my feelings,

Then promptly discarded

All the love that I gave you

With complete disregard,

For myself, my intentions, and my poor heart.

This I know to be true, so now I must ask:

Were your promises hollow?

Was your touch always cold?

Were your words always planned?

How big is your ego?

And do you really think

That I could forget you

When the pain that you caused me

Still makes me regret you?

After five years of waiting,

I'm here before you,

Watching you hear my voice

But your mouth doesn't move.

You have nothing to say

But you can't turn away,

So you wait a few minutes, you collect all your thoughts

And you spin the game around

Like it's your favorite sport.

You scream all my faults,

You pin the blame on me,

And you haven't changed at all,

From what I can now see.

And while yes, it is true,

I shit-talked about you,

I was always honest,

Can you say that too?

You, who broke my heart,

And tore it apart

Like it meant nothing at all.

You, who shattered like glass

My trust in your love?

You, who cheated and schemed?

Who ruined my dreams?

Can you say you were right?

Were your intentions clear, were your words bright?

Can your call me a villain,

When you know that I'm not?

Will you ever be sorry?

Will your lies ever stop?

Will you break these damn shackles

That binds us together

And be honest for once?