forever and always | jaden hossler story

~REALITY + TEXTS~

JADEN'S POV

It's been almost 15 minutes since I woke up and not a single thing from Alissa. Maybe I blew it. Shit this was a massive mistake. I walk out of my room and find Josh in the kitchen.
"Hey Jaden boy, where have you been?" Josh looks away from his phone and at me. "I might have just done something really stupid." I reply and he frowns. "When have you not?" I swear if Mads walked through the door right now I will collapse."
"Worse." I say and bow my head to the floor.
"Fucking hell what is it?" Josh asks, giving me his full attention. "Okay...I may have just slept with Alissa."
And to this, he drops his phone on the floor, where his jaw is hanging too. He doesn't speak. "I KNOW! But it gets worse. I woke up and she isn't here. I think I have ruined everything." I hate myself. I couldn't have just shut up and left her in peace. I now may have ruined everything I love.

"You have really got yourself in a pickle." He smirks. "Why are you laughing? This isn't funny." I remark which just widens his smile more.
"Currently resisting the urge of I told you so." Josh giggles and I smack him around the back of his head.
"Not the fucking time. What should I do?" I beg him for some kind of answer.
"Just hit her up and ask her to meet and talk about it." He shrugs and goes back to looking on his phone.

alissa!!

you
hey alissa are u ok?

alissa!!
yep all good

you
wanna meet at the diner near the
house and chat?

alissa
um sure

Something is definitely up with her. She is usually the least dry texter I have ever met in all of my life. But I just need to be optimistic about this as she could have just needed some time to think and she is actually wanting of us. Us. God I fucking hope so.

I walk out of the house and head towards the diner. Griffin is in his room but his truck is gone. Weird. I see the place of meeting ahead of me and make mental bullet points of all the possible things she could say and how I am going to respond. As hard as it it to admit this, I fall more and more for this woman every passing second of time. She is my everything. And if I have messed this up I will spend the rest of my live regretting it. So if this doesn't go well, I'm not sure what I will do.

I spot Griffins truck and connect the dots that she must be inside. As I walk in, the bell rings, alerting Alissa to meet my gaze. She is wearing the same clothes as yesterday and her hair is a mess, yet she still manages to look absolutely stunning. Awkwardly, she beckons me over and I take a seat opposite her. I can feel the tension drift between us like an unwanted disease as she sips her sweet tea. "Sorry I didn't get you anything I wasn't sure what to get." She avoids eye contact and stares blankly into her drink.
"It's all good." I am trying to rack my brain for the right way to start this but nothing seems to come to mind.
"I...don't really know what to say." I admit and she lifts the straw from her mouth. "Yeah, me too. I guess when I woke up it all became real and I freaked out." There's a long pause before I respond, trying really hard not to say the wrong thing.
"Do you...do you regret it?" I ask, watching her face fall. "No. But I just thought that...maybe. I don't know." She shakes her head.
"Maybe what?" Please don't be bad. Please don't be bad.
"That you were, um, just using me." Her body caves in on itself and my words get trapped in my throat all of a sudden.
"What? No. That's not true at all." I instantly deny. "Oh." Her cheeks go bright red.

Back to silence once again. Great.

"Okay you know what I am just going to say it. And whatever happens, happens. The moment I realised I loved you was when we decided to go to MacDonald's really late at night and we ordered and ate it in the car. We had music on in the background and I watched as you tried to throw a fry into the air and catch it in your mouth. You were giggling so much and kept missing. And then one of your favourite songs came on and we sang it so loud I got a headache. But I didn't care. I was exactly where I wanted to be with exactly who I wanted to be with. You complete me in a way no one has ever before. I want to be with you. I want to wake up every morning with you beside me. I want to get late MacDonald's with you and laugh about anything and everything until the sun comes up. I want all of it. And if you don't feel the same then I don't know what I will do but at the end of the day a relationship takes two people and your opinion with always matter more. I know I have done some shitty things. Some really shitty things that you don't deserve. I'm really trying to be better. Do better, if you'll let me." There is silence between us and her face is something I can't quite decipher. Then her phone pings and she irruptively gets out of her chair.
"I am so sorry but I need to deal with this, I will talk to you later. So sorry." She then runs out of the door.

What the fuck.

ALISSA'S POV

mother

mother
want to know who your father was really?
meet me at the park. now.

My pace quickens as my thoughts scatter onto the street. I shouldn't go, right? I mean this is probably a trap for her to get money out of me or something. But what if it isn't? What if I am missing out on something? I know I am too curious not to go, and I am pretty sure she knows that too. When I get to the park, I see my mother in the distance. She doesn't notice me at first, but after hearing my footsteps, she glances my way. "Hello dear." She smiles.
"Don't call me that. What do you want?" I question suspiciously.
"Not even a hi? Alright I see how it is." She shrugs and my temper grows.
"I told you what would happen if you messaged me again." I threaten in a tone I haven't heard from myself in some time.
"Yes, I know but I thought you deserved to know." She glances at the ground.
"Know what? Go on spit it out."

"Your father...he isn't the person you think he is." She shakes her head.
"Wasn't." I correct eruptively.
"Right, of course. He...he threatened me." Her eyes begin to water. What the fuck is going on.
"Oh he threatened you? Well, that just changes my whole opinion on him." I mock sarcastically and question to myself what it is that I am doing here.

Just as I am about to turn on my heels, her comment stops me in my tracks. "He threatened to hurt me." She sobs and for the first time since being here, I look her in the eyes.
"Hurt you? Like you hurt Griffin. Yeah, a threat is different from an action." I shake my head in disbelief.
"I know the mistakes I have made but this isn't meant to turn you against your father. Nor is it supposed to instantly solve all the pain I caused you and your brother. But I do want you to know why I never tried to reach out. Fix things. He threatened to hurt me if I came near you. And I know that was the right thing to do. I just thought that you deserved to know. Your father was the best of us. And, I can't believe it was him that was taken from you and not me." She turns her gaze away from me.

"Why tell me now?" I question.

"I met someone." She admits and aims her eyes to the floor. "But he lives in England and I just got my visa."
I stare at her with a confused expression, waiting for her to elaborate.

"I just didn't want to leave anything unsaid. I'm not here for your forgiveness, I am very aware I don't deserve it in the slightest. I just wanted to see you before I go. If you want to, and only if you want to, please tell Griffin I could never be more sorry. And that I love him, even if it's impossible for him to feel the same way. I love you both, and I can never express the shame and guilt I feel for everything I have done it my life." And suddenly all of the memories I have tried so hard to obtain within me find themselves crawling out like a spider I can't help leave. I fucking hate spiders.

Tears trickle from the eyes of my mother. The woman I never thought I could face. And yet this has made me see her in a different light. Maybe it really is true, maybe people can change. I think back to Jaden. We have had our ups and downs but this uncontrollable side of me wants to find out if he too, has changed.

Can he change?

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not me having the suddenly random urge to go onto this app and update it after years of not touching it...

i would rather not discuss this at all

but i um yes whatever

i really want the next chapter to be the last one so i can move on with my life

um also just found some random drafts of previous episodes that i never uploaded so you will get the whole thing

and to be honest 90 percent of this chapter was written ages ago and i only added like two paragraphs so ignore the random change in writing style