EPISODE FIFTEEN "slow way to kill yourself" SEASON 6
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GREY KINGSTON
"don't let what they said back there get to you." daryl tells me as we venture through the thick of the woods a few miles south of our home. "they're just scared and selfish."
"i know."
we fall silent again, following behind spencer who's leading us.
"you okay?" daryl looks at me.
"just feel guilty."
"'bout what? the pantry? that had nothin' to do with you."
i don't say anything as the leaves and twigs continue to rustle and snap with us walking over them.
"hey," daryl abruptly steps in front of me, his hand on my shoulder. "it had nothin' to do with you, you hear me? so stop feelin' guilty."
"what if they're right?" i whisper. "what if joining the saviors would stop everything? what if they'd leave alexandria alone if they had me?"
"they wouldn't." he replies, without missing a beat. "i'll tell you what'd happen, they'd still take half our shit, someone would still die, and we'd be without you. that ain't a win, that's a loss."
i look past daryl where spencer continues forward without us at a slow place. i'm sure he's listening in on our hushed conversation as he looks from his left to his right, eyes peeled for any animals with rick's gun in his hands.
"that's a slow way to kill yourself," daryl's voice draws me back in and i meet his gaze again. "thinkin' you're responsible for somethin' like that. it eats at you."
"you would know. you do it all the time." i state. "why don't you take your own advice and stop beating yourself up over glenn?"
he looks away, ignoring me. he loads an arrow in his crossbow with his calloused hands, using his thigh to balance it so he can pull the tight rope back until it clicks into place.
"just believe me, all right?" he shakes his hair out of his face as he straightens his posture. "it ain't your fault what happened today."
spencer whistles, pulling our attention to the deer grazing feet away from us.
daryl takes the initiative, raising his crossbow and inching closer to it for a better shot.
within a few soft steps, i'm standing beside spencer.
"for what it's worth," spencer whispers as we watch daryl. "although i wanted to kill rick, i almost killed you and you almost killed me, i'd never let you go off to the saviors—not without a fight."
daryl's arrow shoots through the air and meets his target.
i push my pride aside for a minute to speak the truth, "for what it's worth, i'm glad i didn't kill you."
