SEASON 8 FINALE
" the best plan we never thought of "
EPISODE NINETEENstats : 3 days later
GREY KINGSTONit was a month ago, maybe a little more, maybe a little less, and i can't stop thinking about it as i lay under layers of blankets. i feel the wheels beneath moving steadily against the road, feel the sway of the rv against the wind as we drive east.
i know if i open my eyes i'll see my family. i'll see rick sitting across from me, judith in his arms, sleeping against his chest. i know i'll see carl sitting close by, pink splotches on his cheeks from all the tears he cried upon seeing his dad after all these years. i know they're talking to each other quietly, catching up on the things they missed, all the time they lost out on to spend with each other.
before the new year, before the winter hit as hard as it has now, that's when i left alexandria and went looking for rick on my own. an impossible journey, or at least that's how it felt, but i did it; i found him.
i got him back, and i made it, too.
the thought of my dad rushes to the forefront of my mind again—his face when he took his last breath three days ago, his blood that was on my hands, my face.
i curl my fist under the blankets, my skin that is clean now, yet i'll always remember the feel of his blood on it.
i don't open my eyes, not yet. even though my family is right there in front of me, finally. but i know they'll be here when i decide to open my eyes, when i decide it's time to face a life without my father in it, knowing that i won't run into him again in a couple years.
that this was it, our second chance together, and it's ran its course.
but even still, even though my heart feels so heavy i'm afraid it might crack every rib in my chest, the weight it carries too much to bear, i tell myself there's still so much to come.
i tell myself that in the years we have left, however few or many, there is so much to do, so much to love.
i take a deep breath in, alleviating that weight splintering lines and cracks down my ribs, and for once, for the first time in a long time, i think i might be looking forward to it.
=
4 weeks ago
"talk to me." rick says over the roaring in my mind, the thoughts that are running a mile a minute in my brain. blood is pumping through my arteries so fast, i can hear it in my ears, feel the weight of it in my fingertips.
"baby," his hands are on my cheeks, holding my face, but my eyes still won't meet his. no matter how much he dips his head, trying to catch my eyes, i won't give them to him.
"grey," he whispers. "you gotta talk to me, i can't help you if you don't—"
"i got sick again this morning." i say, a soft gasp of air pulled into my lungs right after. the wind quiets, as if something larger than the forest itself we stand in opened its mouth and sucked it all back in.
rick must feel it too, the gasp nature just took into it's big mouth, because i feel his hands relax—slip—just a bit.
"it wasn't the food from the other day."
rick's hands fall outward now, the back of his palms floating somewhere in the space between my jaw and shoulders, my hair fanned out over his wrists. and the way he looks at me, the front of his eyebrows pinched a bit closer together, his perfect mouth parted in a way that always makes me want to kiss him.
YOU ARE READING
𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 , 𝐫. 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬
Fanfiction[seasons 4 - 11 ] STRANGERS TO FAMILY, 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙖 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙥 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙜𝙚𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙞𝙖 𝙩𝙤 𝙫𝙞𝙧𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙖. ✰ 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜�...