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GREY KINGSTON
i stand in the middle of it all, watching. bags are being tied over our horses' backs, gear is being strapped onto their bodies, and last minute food offerings are getting tucked in each of their personal backpacks.
the group heading to pittsburgh is leaving now, two weeks earlier than planned based on our food situation we brought to light two days ago.
"we figured why wait," carl told me this morning, about an hour ago when i met him outside.
"but max won't be expecting you guys," i pointed out. the trip will take a few days anyway, but eugene's radio lover, as negan calls her, is going to be blindsided by their early arrival.
"maybe that's better," eugene said at the same time i realized it in my head.
true. maybe this is smarter.
if max is lying, if she has a group that isn't as friendly as she says they are, maybe showing up unannounced is better than walking into a lineup of guns and arrows pointed at your head. i wonder how their gun supply is up there, if they've made out any better than us or if they ran out of ammo awhile ago too.
i watch carl sit with judith on his lap, he's talking to her quietly, saying goodbye.
i curse under my breath, gnawing on my bottom lip as i cross my arms over my chest to keep warm. i promised myself i'd set out on my own run in a few days, but the guilt of leaving judith with someone else for who knows how long is already eating at me.
my mind wanders to daryl, my eyes automatically floating over to the gate he raced through on his bike yesterday morning after he woke up to leah being gone. she must've left because of the fight they had, the fight that included me for whatever reason.
i try not to cry when it's my turn to say goodbye to carl. we'll all keep in touch with radios and walkies for as far as the signal will hold out.
judith and i stand beside carol as we watch our friends depart—two on horses, the rest on foot until they tire out and need to switch.
"you wanna come over to daryl's for lunch later? i was planning on cooking for him and leah, but since they're not here ..."
"sure." i give carol a smile as we turn to walk back to our homes, trying to distract ourselves from the long run the group of people we love just set out on.
"everything okay with your dad?" she asks, knowing elijah is somewhere in my house as we speak.
"yeah. i'm not sure what he's here for exactly besides getting under my skin, but i'm used to dealin' with him."
she gives my shoulder a squeeze with a warm smile before we part ways.
i push open the front door and judith races inside, going to resume her coloring at the coffee table where crayons are sprawled all over the surface. i meet my father's eyes from where he sits in the kitchen, finishing up breakfast.
