without you

TEN

ADAIR CONNELLY

♡ adair, my baby ♡
almost everyday I take these walks, where I am always so tempted
but then it hits me that you're waiting by the door for me to come home
like you always do and the thought triggers me because I wouldn't want
to put you in any kind of pain ever but as much as I don't want to put
you in that pain, I don't want to be in pain either. I'm more than grateful
of my time with you, although it was short lived. you're my one great love.
you're my everything, I knew that from the moment you brought me
that one daisy at the cafe. I'm sorry I had to do what I've done, I did it to
stop the pain, I did it so I could be with my brother. I'm sorry I left you
behind, you're all I've ever wanted and all I'll ever want, I just wish we
had met earlier in life, that way we could have spent more time together.
we could have finally upgraded into a bigger house with a bigger garden
like we always talk about. I love you, I will continue to love, I will never
stop loving you. I'm truly so sorry, I just don't think there was any
getting better for me, so I ended it so you wouldn't have to lose
yourself trying to save me. I care about you too much for that.
I know this girl I've turned into is not who you fell in love with but I don't
think I could bring her back. in the next life you and I are the happiest.

please tell my mom and dad I'm sorry and I love them.
this isn't a goodbye, never.
I'll be waiting. Take your time.

I hope you still bring me single daisies.

♡ your baby, billie ♡

I knew there was no way of living without her.

I simply couldn't.

there was no way I was planning on moving on with life not knowing whether she's taken care off wherever she is right now.

so I did it.

I followed billie's footsteps after days of staring at the page on her diary, the ink smudged from all the dried tear she had shredded, along with mine.

she was right, the girl she had turned to is not the girl I have fell in love with.

that doesn't mean I wasn't ready to fall in love with another version of her all over again.

billie was my future, without her I had no future.

what was the point of me staying behind?

"I will see you soon"

THE END.