Straight Through the Heart

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My schedule has been so swamped I've barely been able to get much sleep. AnnMarie had come to visit last week and I'm still so disappointed that I barely got a chance to see her. Between photoshoots and rehearsals for shows, I barely had time to eat, much less to spend with her. I know she missed me and I would be lying if I didn't miss her, but I am the forefront of this band. I know the other guys are just as exhausted, but I can't let on how bothered I am. I have to be the driving force to get this done. I can't let them down. I had at least been able to convince Quinn to let us head in early and sleep in a little late while AnnMarie was here.

I would slip into her room every night, slightly revived by the sight of her and we would curl up and make love. I have been missing her so much. Sleeping alone has gotten so difficult and I have been tossing and turning a lot more frequently since traveling. The week she was here had been the best sleep I had gotten over the last month.

She had come to each one of our shows, screaming along to our songs even though she was getting over a case of strep throat. I would be so worried after the show and urge her to go back to the room and take her antibiotics and get some rest. I could see it would make her sad that I would tell her to leave, but I didn't want her to get worse. She would tell me she was on the tail end, only having a few days left of her meds and otherwise feeling fine, but I would insist and once my management team heard she was sick they made it harder for her to be near me.

The rest of her trip, she seemed upset but I tried to remain upbeat. I promised that the tour would be over soon and I would be home before she knew it, but inside I ached to get on the plane and go with her. I was enjoying every moment of this except for not being with her. I know that she has her comics and she has been teaching an art class at Hawkins Community College, but I wished she could have come with me. I pushed the selfish thought away and let her go home.

Each day I push to do the best I can, telling myself that this isn't just for me. This is for AnnMarie just as much as it is for me. It's my dream, but it's going to provide a future I never even dreamed of. I want to make her proud. I want to make Wayne proud.

"Hey Eddie," Natalie says, pulling me from my daydream. I've been at the studio for a few hours, working on a new song. I've been sitting with my guitar next to a workbench, jotting down some chords and verses. Natalie stands before me with a water bottle in hand.

She has been really nice since we have gone on tour. She has offered a lot of help with everyday tasks since the band and I don't have a set assistant yet. Quinn is in the works looking for one, but Natalie offered to help out until we could fill the spot. She runs us coffee, fills our tour bus fridge with the snacks we like, gets us the necessary toiletries we need and all the small stuff you don't think about going into a tour. She informs restaurants of Scott's peanut allergy and tells hotels about our wake up calls. She's been a huge help. She's also just really nice. We have chatted about our hometowns. She comes from Milford, Pennsylvania. Being from small American towns we talked about the people and how they're all pretty much the same no matter where you live.

Natalie's really big into metal music, which she should be given where she works. She knows a lot about the industry and even though she is only Quinn's assistant she has a lot of helpful insight for the guys and I. She's a pretty cool person.

"Figured you were in need of some refreshment," she smiles. "You've been hunched over that thing for a while."

I chuckle and take the water from her. "Thanks," I open the bottle and take a sip. "Just been trying to play with some things."

I wave toward the paper on the table and she takes a peek before nodding.

"Mind if I take a look at what you've got so far?" She asks.

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