Heaven Can Wait || Eddie Munson Story ||

So Tired

AnnMarie's POV

"Are you still sure this is the best route?" Dustin asked from the back seat. Steve was nice enough to borrow his dad's truck and take me to sell my bike. It made me sad to see her go, but it isn't practical anymore. I still have my car she just isn't as fun.

"What do you mean, Dusty?" I ask, his question came out of the blue so I'm unsure what he means.

"Keeping Eddie in the dark like this."

I'm about six months along now. The baby bump is real and I can no longer see my feet. Robin has gotten in the habit of calling me a penguin which I hate and Nancy has tried desperately to buy me frilly maternity clothes that always mysteriously go missing. I tend to favor oversized band Tshirts, leggings, and converses these days.

The kids have loved my pregnancy. Max and El have been documenting everything, using Robin's Polaroid to take photos each step of the way. Each ultrasound I get, they steal the photos saying they need them for their scrapbook. Mike has gotten a video camera and has been recording us all together each time we meet up. He's even let Dustin borrow it to take to some of my appointments. I've allowed him to tag along to the less evasive visits as an "Eddie ambassador" as he likes to call himself. He records the entire appointment and is surprising quiet as I tend to what needs to get done.

I've still yet to see the scrapbook the girls are making. They say that it is a surprise and I'm not allowed to see it until they say it is ready to be viewed, whatever that means. I don't mind all the love, it has been helpful in keeping my mind off the biggest piece missing from my heart.

Even though they all have been so kind and attentive the loneliness still grips my heart so tightly. Each night when I crawl into bed, I ache to have him home. When I close my eyes I dream of him, the dreams more vivid now due to the hormones and I wake up and sob into my pillows. My doctors say feeling a little blue is to be expected, but I feel like I'm drowning in the color.

"I think that this is what is best for Eddie right now, Dustin." I sigh. Convincing everyone to keep my pregnancy a secret was hard, but Dustin has been the toughest cookie to crack. He knows more than anyone how much Eddie would love being a dad. I know how much he would love it, but I can't let him give up his dream. He's worth so much more.

"Don't you think he will be upset when he comes back and finds out you had a baby?" Dustin asks.

"That's if he comes back," I shrug. I have been following his career, building a scrapbook of my own out of articles and newsletters about him and Corroded Coffin. Chiroptera Records was opening a large office in LA and would be relocating a lot of their artists there for closer management. Nothing had been confirmed for Corroded Coffin, but Eddie had always wanted a reason to leave Hawkins. "If he does come back than he can choose to be as involved as he would like. He would have at least made a name for himself already and we won't be hindering him in moving forward."

I place my hand over my belly protectively and I feel our baby move happily in my tummy.

"You were never a hindrance AnnMarie," Dustin says, rolling his eyes.

"And we never will be," I say, sticking my tongue out at him. "Trust me Dustin, I love Eddie more than anyone. I would love more than anything to have him here, but the world needs to see him shine first."

Dustin just shakes his head and let's out a frustrated huff. Steve stays quiet, just driving us home and listening. His eyes seem to harden around the edges as I speak, but he doesn't say a word.

I know I'm being unfair to them, but I'm doing what I can.

"Have you decided what to name her yet?" Steve asks suddenly.