Heartless Vasiliev

Chapter Three

TW: cheating

Celeste

I watched his back as he walked away from me. I must admit, what he confessed changed something. I don't know what that is, but I feel like something is off. I heaved a sigh. Ano pa nga ba ang magagawa ko? It's not like I can change him.

I shook it off my mind and continued working. Just a few minutes later, someone knocked on the wooden door behind me. I know it's open, so I turned around and looked. Kuya Conrad was standing there, leaning on the doorframe. He grinned as he walked up to me and sat on the nearest stool.

"What brings you here, kuya?"

Napangiwi siya sa tanong ko. "I already told you not to call me kuya when we are alone."

"Nirerespeto kita bilang nakakatanda."

He chuckled. "You make me feel so old. Anyway, I'm here to look for some formal suit? A three-piece business suit."

"We don't have suits at the moment, but I can get your measurements."

"A boutique with no suits? Interesting."

Naiiling akong tumayo. "Give us a break. It's a small business. If you want, you can just buy designer clothes."

Tumawa siya sa sagot ko. "I'm just kidding, Celeste. Siyempre dito ako bibili para naman matulungan ko si Little Miss red lipstick."

That nickname brought back memories I regret. The feeling of guilt still haunts me up to this day. It was a one night mistake, but the consequences are forever.

"Rad, please don't do this."

"Totoo naman ang sinasabi ko, hindi ba?" Nagsalubong ang kilay niya habang nakatitig sa labi ko. "Pero hindi ka na yata nagsusuot ng pulang lipstick?"

"Hindi ko pala bagay." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at nagpanggap na hinahanap ang measuring tape.

"Alam na ba ni Nathaniel?"

Hindi ako sumagot kaagad. I started measuring his body, then writing it down. Nang hindi pa siya nagsalita ulit, nagdesisyon akong sagutin na siya. "No, he still doesn't know about it and I don't have plan on telling. Rad, your brother and I are doing fine. It's time to leave those things behind. Ilang taon na rin ang lumipas."

"So, you're lying to him?"

"He did the same thing! Hindi niya rin sinabing baog siya! I, too felt betrayed."

Amusement flashed on his face. "So you already know? Ano'ng nararamdaman mo?"

"My feelings are none of your business. This is between me and Nathan."

He laughed. "Ang sungit mo naman."

"Nakuha ko na ang measurements ninyo. I'll send you a message once we have your suit."

"Parang ayaw ko pang umalis. Puwede bang dito muna ako?"

"I have work to do. You're disturbing me, so no, you cannot stay here."

He laughed as he waved goodbye. When I couldn't a see a trace of him, I finally let out a heavy sigh. My heart is pounding against my chest.

Naiiyak akong bumalik sa maliit na solid na tinuturing ko na ring opisina at ni-lock ang pinto. Napalupasay ako sa upuan habang sapo ang dibdib ko. Memories from years ago flashed into my mind.

I clutched a fistful of my hair, hoping to stop them. I whispered, "Please stop." I couldn't stop my memories, and it felt like I had no choice but to go back to that moment.

When I was still a freshman in college, nanliligaw na sa akin si Nathaniel noon. He was kind, understanding, and well, the perfect guy. Kapag nagpaparty sila, palagi niya akong sinasama. And everytime he'd take me to their house, nakikita ko si kuya Conrad.

He is the opposite of Nathaniel. He's a total heartbreaker, and an asshole. I've heard rumors about him dumping girls because they are ‘not his type.’ He would always try his luck with me, but that time, I was already falling for Nathan.

One time, nagkaroon sila ng party sa bahay nila. Conrad won a motorcycle drag racing competition. Nathan took me with him, but he had an emergency with his school activities. Ilang araw na nga niya akong hindi nakakasama dahil doon. He left me with Conrad that time.

Nag-inuman kami at nagkuwentuhan. I trusted him that he would stop his shenanigans with me. But as we got drunk, he became flirty. That time, medyo nagtatampo ako kay Nathan. I let Conrad flirt with me. The two of us played truth or dare, then as the party got wilder and louder, he told me to continue playing in his room. I obliged, because the loud noise also irritated me.

So we did continue our games in his room. We played card games, taking a piece of garment off as a punishment for whoever the loser is. I know what I was doing, I was aware of what was happening, but I couldn't seem to care. Nawala si Nathan sa isip ko.

It all happened so fast, I just found Conrad on top of me. We were both naked and drunk that time. Then, Nathan came to my mind.

"Nathan," I whispered.

"He's not here, darling. It's only me, Conrad."

"We can't do this. We shouldn't be doing this."

He kissed my neck. "He won't know, darling."

"What if he finds out? You know this is wrong and when your brother finds out, it will be the end for the both of us."

His deep chuckle echoed in my ears. "How could someone as innocent as you, have a body built for sins?"

We stared at each other for a long time. And I don't know what came over me, but I agreed to his little charades. That night, I gave myself to Conrad. He called me his Little Miss Red Lipstick because I left lipstick stains all over him.

After an hour of doing the deed with him, natauhan ako. I left him as soon as I could and ran to Nathan's room. Hindi pa siya nakakauwi kaya naligo ako at kumuha ng damit niya. Bahala na, I'll just lie to him about my clothes.

And ever since then, everytime I see Conrad, naalala ko ang mga nangyari. I was able to push it at the back of my mind and somehow build a connection with him as my boyfriend's brother, but he just pulled the damn trigger again. I found myself crying as I recall everything.