Celeste
“Matulog ka na anak, ha?” I whispered to my daughter, Calista.
Nathaniel left a moment ago. Ngayon ko na lang siya nakita ulit. He still looked the same, but there was a different glimmer in his eyes. It broke me knowing na may fiancee na rin siya.
“Sino ba ang niloloko mo, Celeste? Wala ka nang karapatan,” I told myself.
Matagal nang hindi nagpaparamdam si Nathaniel, ngayon na lang ulit. Nanlumo ako nang makitang nagmamakaawa siya sa ama niya. Alam kong may paninindigan si Nathaniel. I thought I would never see him again after cutting us of, but he came back just for her. He swallowed his pride just for that woman. Ibig sabihin ay mahal na mahal niya talaga siya.
I know I messed up. I made a choice choosing his brother over him, pero masakit pa rin palang makita siyang masaya sa iba. Masakit palang malaman na hindi na ako ang mahal niya.
Lumabas ulit ako ng kuwarto namin para sana kumuha ng tubig. Naabutan ko si Tita at Tito sa labas. Nahihiya pa rin akong tawagin silang Mommy at Daddy kahit pinipilit nila. Sa itsura nila’y mukhang umiiyak si Tita.
“Please, forgive Nathaniel. We already lost Konrad, I can’t lose my other son,” dinig kong pagmamakaawa ni Tita.
“I gave him a choice. Pakasalan niya si Celeste o hayaan niyang mamatay ang babaeng pinagmamalaki niyang fiancee.”
“Don’t you think that’s too much? I know that you’re still grieving over Konrad’s death and you’re worried that our granddaughter might grow up without a father. Naaawa rin ako kay Calista, pero intindihin mo ang pinanggagalingan ni Nathaniel,” malumanay na sambit ni Tita habang humihikbi. “Konrad betrayed his brother. Celeste hurt him. Sa tingin mo, gusto ni Nathaniel ang hinihingi mo?”
“Well he should! He is asking us a favor!”
“Ano’ng mangyayari kapag nagpakasal nga sila? Do you think, magiging masaya sila? Gustuhin man natin o hindi, Nathaniel will resent Calista! Gusto mo ba ’yon!”
“Just shut up! Shut up!” sigaw ni Tito at naglakad paalis.
Nagtago naman ako at tahimik na umiyak sa gilid. Hindi man nila sabihin sa akin, pero pakiramdam ko ay ako ang sumira sa magandang samahan nila. Nathaniel always expressed his resentment towards his father, kahit noong kami pa. Tito played favorites, pero hindi ko alam na aabot sa pagkakataong ganito.
Bumalik na lang ako sa kuwarto kung saan natutulog si Calista. Tumabi ako sa kaniya at niyakap ang maliit niyang katawan.
“I’m sorry for bringing you into this chaos,” bulong ko sa kaniya. “You don’t deserve to be in this situation, anak. But I promise that there will be better days.”
Tiningnan ko ang picture namin ni Konrad habang buntis pa ako. “Please, guide your daughter.”
------
Nathaniel
With little money left, I pulled out Amelia from the hospital. I could no longer pay the bills if we stayed their longer. She was getting worse as each day passes by.
I, on the other hand is becoming more miserable. Hindi ko pa rin maproseso nang maayos ang nalaman ko tungkol kay Konrad, pero hindi rin puwedeng malaman pa ito ni Amy dahil alam kong mas lalala pa ang kalagayan niya sa dagdag na stress.
Okay na akong ako lang ang nahihirapan. Kaya ko namang tiisin, para lang hindi siya mahirapan. I love her so much for her to suffer.
Hating-gabi nang maramdaman kong gising pa siya. Bumangon ako para i-check sana siya, pero pagtingin ko ay nakangiti siya sa akin.
“Hindi ka makatulog? May masakit ba sa ’yo?” I asked.
“I should ask you the same thing. May dinaramdam ka ba?”
Umiling ako. “Wala. And don't bother worrying about me. Focus on yourself, okay?”
“You’re selfish, alam mo ’yon? You keep on worrying about me, pero ayaw mong gawin ko ’yon. Sabihin mo rin sa akin ang sakit na dinadala mo.”
I sighed. “I. . . My brother is dead.” Nakita ko ang dumantay na gulat sa mga mata niya. “Hindi ko mapigilang sisihin ang sarili ko sa nangyari. He had complications dahil sa pambubugbog ko sa kaniya and I ki—”
“Nate, it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself.”
“Pero—”
“Hindi mo naman ginusto ang nangyari, ’di ba?”
Tumango na lang ako. Mas pinili kong hindi na lang sabihin sa kaniya ang tungkol sa pagpapakasal. Hindi ko alam kung paano sabihin, at ayaw ko ring malaman pa niya. Mabuti na lang at iniba niya ang usapan.
“Alam mo, I was thinking, ano kaya ang magandang gawin para naman makatulong ako sa ’yo?” she suddenly asked.
“Wala. I’ll work for us. Igagapang ko ’to.”
“Nate naman. At least, let me help kahit kaunting tulong lang.”
“Amy, please don’t worry. Your healing is my top priority right now. Saka na ’yan. Kapag magaling ka na, kahit samahan pa kitang maghanap ng work.”
She sighed. “Hindi ko lang kasi maisip na, you’re risking everything for me and I can't even do anything for you. It’s so unfair, alam mo ’yon? I’m grateful that I have you, pero am I really worth all this trouble, Nathaniel?”
“You're worth everything. Just promise me one thing. You’ll be okay and you’ll be with me always. Hindi tayo maghihiwalay, okay?”
Tumango naman siya. “Okay, I promise.”
But her promises, too, betrayed me. She almost didn't make it. I almost lost her too. . .
And I found myself agreeing to Dad’s wishes.
BINABASA MO ANG
Heartless Vasiliev
General FictionDiscovering the affair between his girlfriend and brother, Nathaniel was left devastated. In the midst of healing himself, he found a woman that loved him beyond his flaws. He left everything that once mattered to him in exchange for a life with her...
