Smokeless War - One Piece

(27)

I've heard something along the lines of, shame is a public emotion.

"Mihawk!"

I think I'm beginning to understand why it's public as even through this foggy, grey day, anyone could see how red I was.

"An interesting choice of book to read." He simply concluded before his eyes flitted to the second book, I'd been thanking the heavens a moment before because he'd only saw the historical novel and not the historical romance drama yet before I saw his hand moving in slow motion to pick it up.

Leaning forward quickly I unthinkingly grabbed his hand and as soon as I did it I realized it would come across wrong so I dropped it like a hot iron, my face not cooling down even one degree the entire time.

"Am I that-"

"No sir! Quite the opposite I assure you I just," I slowly grabbed and held the book to my side. "Must warn you I could not read the titles of these nor could I ever guess the erm..genre by its name."

He paused, and I suddenly realized his attire. A black, long sleeved shirt that brought out a startling difference between his pale skin and the color of the blouse. And then I foolishly started thinking how I'd held his...hand! And I interrupted what I'm sure would have been him asking about how attractive he is!

"Excuse me sir, please forgive me." I bowed quickly before turning away before he stopped me, holding me in place with the very hand I'd held before.

"I must apologize to you," He started, my heart beating in my ears so much I thought I wouldn't be able to hear him if he spoke again. "If I gave you any impression I was unhappy with your actions, I apologize."

Slowly releasing his hold on me, I chuckled at his words.

"You're giving me an impression right now." I thoughtlessly replied, something telling me I should stop there but I couldn't quite make the words stop coming out. "One might think you.."

After gaining some sort of realization of what I was about to imply, no not even just imply, I think I just about went as white as a sheet.

"One might think?" He quoted me, curiosity crinkling the edges of his eyes and giving him a strangely kinder look than usual.

"One might think that..with the rumors of your actions on the seas since you took the seat of a Warlord, perhaps you wouldn't be so lenient with me especially since I'm your apprentice." I barely stated, my words sounded sloppy even in my own ears.

I wish I possessed the same courage I had when I first came here, that I really could read him. In reality, I think I was putting my best foot forward and turning my extreme anxiousness into something easier to swallow. His facial expression now made my sad, like he was disappointed in my words.

"Excuse my interruption, Madam. I simply wanted to give you something I should have offered long ago, the chance to speak with your relatives and a personal transponder to reach me." He handed me a small snail transponder and I couldn't contain my baffled expression. "If you wish to speak with someone of further range, there is a transponder at my desk in the library."

Looking at his retreating figure into the castle I almost pathetically asked him to come back.

I can't believe I keep regressing like he's ever treated me unkindly! Sitting back on the bench whilst cupping the precious device, I clutched my skirt's edge like it'd leave me.

I have a way to contact her now, but I don't know where to begin. Do I even have a reason to call her? My heart feels hollow when I try to recall a time when I needed her desperately because I knew my mother would never be there.

Standing and taking the books in my arms while placing the snail in my skirt's pocket, I walked back along the gravel path and a thought struck me. There were people in my life I could focus on now, and other urgent issues. The person who poisoned me and Bella is still out there. One of my friends albeit I'm not sure how we can be friends now since Mihawk kicked him off the island, is dealing with probably traumatic memories no one seems to want to help him with.

And I think I like more mentor more than I want to admit. The thought makes shivers go down my spine because it's an impossibility, and I could go through years of being taught by him and never hold a candle to his skills.

Reaching the double French doors leading back into the library, I suddenly realized there was much left to the day. I didn't have to wonder though what time it was since there was a giant grandfather clock I'd missed when I walked in and it read 2:39.

After a minute of reading the clock because I wasn't familiar with doing so, I was startled by someone clearing their throat and turned to see Mihawk sitting at his desk. His eyes not meeting mine, he continued sorting papers and reading along, occasionally writing down something.

"Sorry."

"What exactly are apologizing for?" He spoke in a cool tone, barely looking up from his work.

"A few things." I murmured lamely in reply, unconsciously reaching up and just stopping short of fiddling with my bottom lip.

"Indulge me." He set his pen down, and I couldn't find the will power to look at him anymore. I'd been so shameless about many things now I felt it all creeping up on me. The weight of those golden eyes commanded me to tell what I'd been thinking though, and I couldn't say no.

"For..being so rude to you at times. And I don't do much for you anymore, even training wise. I'm worried I am a weak individual to be training and that I'm wasting your time." I almost blurted out more but I found myself wish a sudden rush of blood to my face, thoroughly embarrassed I'd said so much. I'm so used to suffering in silence but he made me feel like it was okay to speak my mind, at least little.

In those few seconds that went by I couldn't look at him still, and it seemed like forever before he spoke.

"You insult my instruction? After this long, you feel like I could not even improve you a little bit?" I looked up at that, my heart dropping at the words and his expression so steely it made me feel like a scolded child. But worse yet, I was feeling fear leak slowly into my limbs.

"No sir, that was not my intention-"

Without a warning I felt instinctively I was in danger, the hair rising on my arms and on the back of my neck as I used my devil fruit power to pull myself so quickly I landed with a thud at the double glass doors, momentarily stunned.

Right where I'd stood Mihawk was in a flash, Yoru unsheathed and at his side instead of his back. Even without his proper attire, his form would menacingly stand out against anything. He was at least two heads taller than me, and in full black.

I'd been a while since I'd done it but in that moment, I felt the distrust from the first day come back and I read his eyes so that it communicated one thing. He was dueling me right now, seriously, as a test of what I'd said.

Barely pulling myself up, I faced him and fumbled with the door handle behind me, moving with a speed I didn't think possible I was pulling myself in the direction I wanted to go. Suddenly sprinting through the forest in a part I was not familiar with my lungs stung as I'd been too shocked to even breathe correctly.