𝚒 𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚏 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞 || yeongyu

𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝖊𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙

beomgyu had fallen into a nightmare ridden nap, tossing and turning as he whined in his sleep. a particularly real feeling nightmare woke him, sitting straight up in his bed as he looked around his darkened room frantically.

his chest heaved, the gathered tears in the corners of his eyes taking their turn to fall down his flushed face. beomgyu gathered his surroundings and realized he was in his own room, alone.

light no longer seeped through the cracks in his dark curtains, proving that he had done what he intended to do.

sleep away his problems.

he had no idea where his phone was, but the looming darkness had his mind occupied.

beomgyu's heart rate quickened once more, eyes flashing frantically around the room for any source of light. he then remembered he had tossed his phone and it could be anywhere in his room, almost falling into helplessness.

he forced his quaking legs out of bed and stood up, doing his best to not crumble to the ground, and almost sprinted towards his door. upon reaching it, beomgyu ripped it open and was washed over with light from the hallway, relief sinking into the pit of dread he held.

after standing for a moment to regain himself, he angrily wiped away his tears with his sleeves. he forced himself down the steps to find soobin on the couch, curled up with a blanket as he watched tv comfortably.

beomgyu couldn't help but form a small smile as soobin's wide eyes flicked to his own, cheeks puffed up into a pout.

"you scared me! firstly because you slept for so long, and second because i thought you were an entity. ning is making me watch this horror movie called the conjuring, i hate it." soobin exclaimed, sitting up as beomgyu walked closer to the couch.

he sat down, snuggling under soobin's blanket with him as the pair continued to watch, huddled together as they cuddled.

-
eating disorder mentions

soobin stretched, yawning loudly as he did so. the movie had just ended, leaving the pair to sleepily stand up and take in their surroundings, as they had been zoned out on watching the movie.

upon checking the time off of soobin's phone, beomgyu was shocked to see that it was 11pm.

"let's go to bed now, i'm so glad tomorrow is friday." soobin chuckled, ruffling beomgyu's hair playfully. the younger nodded in agreement, although his mind was occupied with something else.

he had evaded soobin telling him to eat.

and he loved it.

he knew he deserved that empty stomach, and deserved the pain that came with it. for a while he had been good with eating, but everything with xion had brought back memories he didn't ever want to relive.

in their relationship, xion had always told beomgyu how chubby he was, how he needed to lose that stomach to be attractive. beomgyu was never overweight, and had always been average sized. but xion was a despicable, convincing, manipulating person.

which is how beomgyu had slowly found himself forcing himself to eat less, and limiting his portions, especially around xion.

beomgyu's weight had started to drop, and continued to drop until he was only eating over other day. and xion obviously noticed, but he had congratulated beomgyu on it instead of being worried.

and to 16 year old beomgyu, the praise and encouragement was rewarding.

18 year old beomgyu wished he had never formed those habits. once a habit sticks, it's done.