Dirty Little Secret| Eddie Munson x Reader

Voices Carry

Y/N's POV
Saturday, November 30th, 1985.

I stared down the bronzed knocker on the door in front of me, my warped reflection ogling back at me in the curved metal as I squeaked the rubber toes of my tennis shoes together. The faint metallic tinge of iron infiltrated my saliva as I bit the inside of my cheek. All the confidence I'd had the night before had since left my body, my mind now split down the middle over something I'd previously been so undeniably sure of before as I stood on Fred Benson's doorstep. I didn't know why I felt so suddenly nervous. I'd been so sure in my decision mere hours before whilst tangled up in the arms of my beloved, my conviction unwavering as I peeled myself out of his hold at dawn and retrieved the balled-up lined papers from his living room floor, so assured as I typed out two more copies of the sacred manuscript at lightning speed and stuffed one into an envelope. Even as I walked the entire way to the Benson residence, I'd been so certain that this was what I wanted. So why now, as I stood at the threshold did it all of a sudden feel too real? Why was I internally reminding myself I still could back out of this? The image of myself turning around, bounding back down these brick stairs and moving on with my life as if none of this had happened replayed in my mind over and over. The fact that the temptation to make that image a reality sank heavily on my shoulders split my heart in two, one half sinking and the other soaring. Why, if I loved him so much, did the urge to betray Eddie, to get his hopes up and gut him all over again, to twist the knife in his back with a smile, feel so goddamn enticing? I shook my head, a measly attempt at ridding my mind of those cruel temptations, as I tried to psych myself up to knock.

"I can do this," I muttered aloud, a pathetic effort in convincing myself as I looked up at the sky, begging the universe for a sign - any sign at all- that this was the right choice. That the risk was worth the reward. As if on cue, the door swung open and my gaze snapped back down, seeing a scowling Fred Benson glaring back at me, wrapped snugly in a plush red robe.

"You've been standing on my doorstep whispering to yourself for ten minutes now, you creep," He bit at me, bringing the mug in his hands to his lips as he slowly sipped. I stared back at him, quite literally shaking in my boots as I swallowed thickly. Fred quirked an eyebrow, his features twisted together oddly as if he were holding back laughter at my wide-eyed gaze. "You going to come in or what?"

His words spurred my body into action, my feet moving me forward without my brain telling them to as I scooted past Fred through the small gap he left in the doorway into his home. My senses finally caught up with me as the warmth of his living room soothed the goosebumps of my bare arms, the scent of cinnamon and freshly brewed coffee tickling at my nostrils. Fred sat down in the armchair facing the door, motioning for me to sit down in the one opposite from him. My mind still somewhere else, I barely registered his offer as I declined, opting to stay standing despite the fact that my knees felt like jelly.

"So, this story you were so hard pressed on getting out, you have it?" Fred asked, his voice chipper despite his furrowed eyebrows at my very obvious disillusionment. I nodded, reluctantly extending the manuscript out to him, the pages shaking visibly in my quivering hands. He practically had to pry my clammy fingers off the page as he yanked it away from me. He squinted down at the top page, scrunching his nose as he quickly skimmed the title. Like a ton of bricks, the realization struck him that this story was actually a letter-confessional-exposé lovechild and he roughly set his mug down, nearly missing the corner of the table in front of him as he scanned the page with his mouth agape. He stared silently down at the pages for a while, letting the words soak over him as his carping scowl dissolved, his lips now in a tight line.

"Y/n," Fred crooned softly, his eyes finding mine once more. "Are you sure you want this out to everyone?"

No. "Yes," I said quickly, my tone unconvincing to even myself.