𝙎𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙖𝙙𝙖𝙗𝙞 𝙊𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨

A| It's All My Fault.. {Edited}

Maturity: Angst
Warnings: Death, Grief, illnesses, etc.
Story: Long

(Shigaraki POV)

I forced my eyes open, the sun pouring through the expansive windows, its rays piercing my vision and making me squint. The room was unseasonably warm for mid-winter, but the bed beneath me felt unusually cold—colder than I remembered. I reached out instinctively, hoping to find Dabi beside me, but my hand met something unexpected.

It was a strange, dry substance, almost delicate and paper-like. Frowning, I lifted it closer to my face. When I recognized what it was, my heart dropped—ashes. Panic gripped me as I shot upright, tossing the covers aside like a weight I could no longer bear. The realization hit me hard, and dread settled in the pit of my stomach. What had happened?

    "B-Babe.." I muttered, his jacket stood above the pile of ashes, tears pricked my eyes, I screamed to the top of my lungs, I hugged the jacket close, putting my pinky up this time. Toga rushed into my room with a panicked expression, "What's wrong boss?" She asked frantically, I couldn't speak...I couldn't breathe..this wasn't real... She gasped, "Oh..my god..y-you didn't.." she raised her hand to her face, tears flooded her face, and she began to scream.

"YOU FUCKER! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?!" She screamed at me, loud enough for everyone to hear, she was angry, no she hated me... "I-I-I d-don't kn-now..I d-didn't mea-an t-to.." "THE FUCK BOSS! IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!!" She screamed, it's my fault...

That day felt like a nightmare I couldn't escape, each moment dragging me deeper into despair. I desperately wished it were just a bad dream, praying fervently that it wasn't real. But the crushing truth settled in – it was all real, and somehow, it was my fault. No, I refused to accept it! This wasn't happening! I was determined to wake up from this hell.

Overwhelmed, I shut everyone out, seeking shelter in the one place I thought I could find solace: my room. The room that still echoed with memories of Dabi. I barricaded myself inside, unable to face the world beyond those walls, clinging to the hope that maybe, just maybe, I would wake up and everything would be normal again.

I sat on my cold bathroom floor with a blade in my hand painted in red, I felt numb, nothing felt real anymore, a weak smile formed my disgusting face my lover once called pretty, I deserve to feel pain... I squeezed the blade with anger, I wanted to feel, love, pain, anything so I went deeper, I went harder until I was satisfied...I wasn't satisfied.

I awoke with a splitting headache, pounding could be heard from outside the bathroom door, I groaned and winced as I forced myself to get up to open it. Kurogiri stood angrily, "You gonna come fight with us? Or leave us to die too?" He growled, why does everyone hate me?.. "I-I..I'll go.." I murmured, he only scoffed and went to walk away only to stop, "Got an actual fucking plan, or are we gonna have to make one sense you're too lazy of a leader to do so your fucking self?"

I hesitated at the question, realizing he already had the answer. No plan, no direction—just a sinking feeling that I was a poor excuse for a leader. With a heavy heart, I led the team through the portal, and we emerged in front of the dilapidated building that served as the teenager's school—a place that reeked of mischief and chaos.

Kurogiri stood at the center of the team, his voice low and intense as he laid out his intricate plan. I watched, feeling a mix of anticipation and unease. Just as I thought I might get a chance to contribute, he shot me a derisive glance and turned away, completely dismissing me.