Wherever You Go

Chapter 9

As a marketing professional with double qualifications in finance and project management, he was able to establish a steady stream of restructuring and management projects outsourced by several big companies, which he manages with a small team of professionals, all Harvard graduates like him. Yagiz spent early years after his graduation slaving off to establish this business he absolutely treasured. For some unfathomable reason he always wanted something to call his own, rather than rely on his father's business which was waiting for him in Turkey. 

Only when his business was solid on the ground and could afford him a life of independence, he moved to Turkey, with the intension of visiting US regularly for business and leisure. He was at a time of his life where he enjoyed travelling for work and leisure and he wanted to contribute his part into his fathers business, even though he was aware that Yasmin has influenced Gokhan into resenting his presence in the business. Yagiz has never cared for Yasmin nor what she thought of him. He wanted the chance to reunite with his family and live with them again, in his own house of course. He had never depended on anyone and on one had affected his decisions or lifestyle. And how fine it has gone now, Yagiz thinks glancing at Hazan seated at the other end of the couch, tense, weary and utterly heartbreakingly beautiful.

"Hazan, go and sleep please..." he says shaking his head, weary and tense himself. This day seems never ending.

"Yagiz, I cannot.. I.. we.. need to talk" She states with her impeccable logic as usual.

"Well you are doing a fine job of it so far" he says, without malice or anger and a small smile appear in her lips.

"Aren't we used to this? Either we fight or don't talk at all" Hazan says softly and Yagiz laughs along, for a moment forgetting all their troubles. Hazan try not to stare at his quiet slight smile, which he only gives to her. It took her forever, but gradually she understood that he smiled that way only with her. She wonders why she was so dense as to not to understand it. After all he never actually smiled with anyone, the frosty refrigerator he is.

"Or to hide things from each other" Yagiz says, his smile dead and eyes unfathomable. Hazan stops breathing for a minute. He only hid one thing and with totally acceptable reasons, whilst she has hidden serious things, the most serious thing, despite his many warnings of repercussions. Lord above knows that she only wanted to protect him. But Hazan knows it does not matter now. The damage is done and in the worst possible manner. If she had the courage to hold his hand and tell everything to him, his pain would be of a different magnitude and Sinan would not have been able to create such a disaster. It was the final straw for everything, their hopes of any kind of future, Yagiz's life in Turkey, any slim chance he had of accepting the facts in a rational manner and repair his relationship with the family and even for the already crumbling Egemen business empire. It physically hurts to be the cause of such a disaster and Hazan knows there is no way out now.

" I only hid everything because I wanted to protect you from being hurt" She says anyway, praying her voice will not break and tears will not come.

" And we all know how well that worked out" he says sarcastically. There is no way Hazan can stop tears from filling her eyes now.

"There is no one who hates me more than I hate myself right now for it" She says, putting all her strength into not crying out of anger at herself. Yagiz's sigh was loud and echoing in the living room.

" Or maybe because you loved him you enjoyed having that little secret between the two of you. " Yagiz says and Hazan's heart shatters to a million pieces and tears blur her eyes so much that everything is just a multicolor vista infront of her. Good thing that it is so, for she doesn't want to see the arctic coldness in his voice reflected in his mesmerizing blue green eyes. But she knows she has to hear this, probably even worse ones are coming.