Wherever You Go

Chapter 33

Hazan entered the dark apartment and collapsed on the sofa, throwing her bag to the other chair. The bag misses the mark and falls on the floor, scattering some of its content on to the carpet. She had been working a lot during the past week and she was utterly thankful for that. Unita team loved her and the feeling was mutual. Apart from being the lead inhouse model for their dynamic online catalogue, Hazan is also involved in providing them with market intelligence from around the world and also by analyzing the local competition. 

If she was not exhausted enough from work then she would spend several more hours in the gym and eating junk food from street side cafes. She would do anything to stay away from the empty apartment. A week has elapsed since Yagiz flew to Poland and Hazan found herself sinking below surface with each passing day. He called her immediately after landing at the airport. He sounded tired and disoriented and Hazan was still very much upset, the conversation therefore was awkward. It also did not help that he had to catch a flight to a very remote part of Poland to reach Farah within few minutes of landing. Since then their contact had been virtually nonexistent. Hazan understood the fact that the area he is in is very remote and he must not be having signals to communicate at his own free will.

Whilst she does not feel jealousy as bitter as what she felt at his interactions with Farah before, Hazan couldn't help being sad and infuriated about the way Yagiz handled the issue. She has no right to demand that he discuss everything he is doing with her, but they have gone through ups and downs in life and had arrived at a very cordial and almost loving arrangement. They discussed each other's daily schedules, made dinner arrangements and came up with various places to visit, just like any married couple. They looked out for each other and were constantly with each other outside of their work environments. Wasn't it common courtesy for him to at least tell her the moment he knew? Even after she had directly told him that she cannot bear to see her getting too close to him?

Hazan knew the depth of the friendship between the two of them. Farah had been there for him when Yagiz's family sent him off to USA, 14 and utterly alone. After her father passed away last year, she is virtually alone in the world. Yagiz also suffered from the regret of introducing her into the total mess of their sordid story, tainting her image, their friendship and possibly putting her life in danger even. It is totally understandable that he gets agitated knowing that she is injured in some remote nowhere in the world. Also didn't she agree to not to bother his life too much and even offered to stay alone? Maybe this is his way of showing her place.

None of the reasoning made Hazan's aching heart feels better. Also there were more urgent issues that were pressing on her since yesterday. Ece had said that her mother had been sick and in and out of hospitals for several weeks from a viral infection and has become very weak and constantly talking about her. Ece had kept it from her as much as she could, but keeping Mrs. Fazilet quiet is not something that can be easily achieved. Though Ece was very subtle about it , Hazan could feel that in between supervising Hazim's care, looking after tiny Ozgur and managing her mother, Ece was having a tough time. Hazim was looked after by a nurse and helped by Gokhan too, but he was also not showing any tangible progress.

All these additional problems made Hazan feel guilty and useless. Her mother is sick and her sister is going through many issues alone. She was sitting in an empty apartment and Yagiz is not there with her. It really did not make any sense and did not serve any purpose. Her scheduled shoots for Unita was over for the spring season and there was a month and a half long break coming up until the next one. Her supervisors said that she could do her desk based work remotely, from anywhere during the break. Hazan was wondering whether she should fly to Turkey, see Ece and her mother during this time, and perhaps take her mother to a better doctor. She wanted to ask Yagiz about his opinion and that is why his silence was making her upset.