Trigger warning: Nightmares, panic attacks, triggering scenes, abuse 🙂
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It was dark. So dark. There wasn't any light, not even a small peek of it and it felt so haunting, so suffocating.
The space was small. So small. Just a tiny little space for the small body of an 8 year old boy who sat shivering in the darkness, eyes pale and heart racing with fear.
There was no sound, completely silent and yet it felt the most terrifying because in that silence, the 8 year old boy could hear the small whispers of the insects he was caged with.
Spiders lingered in the small space, ants on the floor and perhaps there were cockroaches, the boy wasn't so sure.
The space reeked of sweat, vomit and urine, reeked of desperation, reeked of fear. And he couldn't escape it.
Beacause "she" won't let him out.
"Please.. I'm sorry.. please let me out. I'll behave. I'll go away. I'll stop misbehaving... please... let me out. It's scary. It's so scary...", the boy cried out, begging to be freed from this small space that was suffocating him.
He has been locked in here for 3 days, without any food or water, forced to stay there and suffer, forced to sit in his own urine and vomit , forced to bear with the insects, forced to face his deepest fears.
It was his fault though. He knew that and accepted it. He hadn't used the spoon correctly, in the proper way. He should have been more intelligent. Should have paid more attention to the way he was eating. He should have gripped the spoon more tightly and correctly that it wouldn't have dropped the soup. He was at fault. He had angered "her". That's why he was being punished.
"Good boys listen", she had said.
"Good boys know how to act properly", she had reminded him.
"You are no good boy, filthy orphan", she had sneered.
"You deserve no good things in the world. You only deserve punishments.", she had told him.
"You deserve to suffer", she had proclaimed.
And the little boy, at the age of 8, had believed her. Had believed her when she had told him that he was undeserving. Had believed her when she had told him that he was just a filthy orphan. Had believed her that he was not a good boy and deserved to be punished. He had believed her, completely believed her.
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