In 25 Days

December 24th

That night felt different, I remember the dream vividly, instead of being alone in a dark place and sobbing I was surrounded by the family, including my new siblings. They were all cheering me on, I didn't feel quite as alone but I didn't feel whole yet. I woke up at around two, I was confused... yes the dream was an improvement but it worried me. I was worried about the not yet feeling, I was worried about the cheering me on part... like I was about to fall into something that I needed more encouragement about. And yea I was worried that I was going to hurt my new brother... that maybe I wasn't over Mark. Then Sicily came out onto the balcony with me.

       "I can tell by the way you look at him that you don't love him like that anymore." She sat her phone down on the table by the chairs. She's nervous, so much so that now she's twisting her nightgown and robe in her hands.

      "What?" I turned to look at her a bit confused it took me a second to catch up "I know that," that's when a thought hit me "are you worried you're going to loose me?"

      "Yes," she was fighting tears "you keep pushing me away, we've tried this relationship thing before and you backed out... then dated Mark."

       "There was a couple female one night stands in there to, don't make it sound like you turned me gay." She glared making me laugh "you knew I'm bi when we started dating." I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her "what was it you said, I like a challenge"

      "I didn't realize when I said that how big of a challenge you would be." She frowned "you broke me when you left."

      "If I remember correctly, that was a mutual separation." I was so clueless

      "You weren't supposed to agree, you were supposed to fight for me." Hey, she's a feminist... how was I supposed to know that all of a sudden she wanted the man to do it!

     "In my defense, you're a feminist..." why are we seeing this conversation anyway?

     "That means I have to do everything?" She pushed back and put her hands on her hips. This is a bad thing, wrong path to take... shouldn't we be following Rhaps right now.

I felt her forehead "Are you feeling okay?"

"Funny..."

"What else am I supposed to say, you've gone from dominatrix feminist to superwoman feminist." This was a unique way of dealing with this argument I will say that.

"Exactly what is the difference between the two?" She still had her hands on her hips and a concerned look on her face. "And... what?"

"That's the only way I can understand the whole feminist thing..." I sighed at her clear disapproval "my own personal opinion of it is that there are only two sides to the coin..." I caved "well three, there is always the midway point between them."

"So explain how the two sides then."

"Well, dominatrix feminism is where everything male is toxic and the only gender to be of value is female, they spread the women are better than men attitude around liberally and would prefer that men become the same as women used to be before the women's movement, like they believe that is truly the only fair thing to do."

She glared "okay, I will admit that I used to believe that."

"Superwoman feminism is where they are eager for the world to be handing things out to those that deserve it based on skill and what you have earned and not based on gender. It's the you gatta step up mentality side of the coin."